Salutary Neglect
by Thundereaper
Summary: The Weak Man Writes the Stories. The Free Man Decides their Place in it. The Wise Man Knows How it will End. But it is the Strong Man who Writes the Epilogue.
1. Ace of Spirals

No, I'm not dead. No, I'm not discontinuing Dichotomy, nor am I quitting writing, or ignoring you all, or any of that stuff.

As I'm quoted for elsewhwere, "Inspiration is a fickle bitch. Sometimes, she whispers the greatest things since sliced bread, and sometimes you gotta spank the whore until she gives it up."

I'm working on that second part at the moment for Dichotomy.

Regardless, I did manage to get this out of her. I've wanted to do a nukenin!Naruto fic for a long time...and without the normal emo undertones that most of them take. You know, like, 'Omg U hurt sasuke-kun, I kill j00 now!" and he runs away, or villagers beat him to a pulp and he runs away, or someone goes OOC and betrays him...sigh.

Too many good fictions are ruined by the victim-premise, or character-bashing by way of having those characters act totally OOC. Mind you, I'm guilty of that at some points, but I've at least learned my lesson.

So if you're looking for an emo 'Sakura hates Naruto' or 'Sakura betrays Naruto for Sasuke' or 'Everyone hates me I think I'll go cry my mascara off and cut myself' or anything like that...this isn't for you.

All that being said? I think I did a pretty good job with this thing. I could be wrong...but I don't think I am. I'm not really looking for mass-acceptance with this one, so much as I'm writing this one for me, and the few people who I respect the opinion of. I'm putting it out there for you guys, because some of you might like it. If you do, I'm glad, and feel free to tell me about it. If you don't...meh.

Regardless, enjoy. Or don't.

I don't own Naruto. I don't own Kisimoto. I don't own Japan. I don't own the world.

Yet.

* * *

"Two pair." 

"Full house."

"…straight flush."

Naruto smirked as the rest of the men at the table groaned, a few even going so far as to curse loudly.

He reached out and began gathering his chips, adding to his already enormous pile. "Hey, not my fault you guys don't know when to quit."

The old man…he could have sworn he had seen him here before…growled at him. "One of these days, you little shit, I'm gonna beat you!"

Naruto frowned at the old man, absently puffing on his cigar. "…not gonna happen old man. I'm the luckiest son of a bitch this side of Iwa, and everyone knows it." He quirked a smirk. "…and don't call me a little shit…I'm a big shit now."

The old man lit his own cigar, downing a small glass of scotch as the smoke billowed out of his mouth. "…that much is true, at least."

After a moment, the old man stood up, and began walking towards the exit. He stopped just short of it, turning around and raising his voice for Naruto to hear over the hum of the pub's patrons.

"But…everyone's luck runs out sometime."

Naruto frowned.

The wall behind him exploded.

The parlor, a place Naruto all but co-owned with his...partner...began to empty out, its patrons fleeing yelling and screaming for the exits.

Such incursions weren't exactly uncommon here…especially considering his fame, and current status...but, it still didn't pay to be here when shit went down.

Then again, it's not like Naruto ever actually lost a fight.

Turning around calmly, he spied three Shinobi emerging out of the dust from the wall. He absently noted that the old man had conveniently disappeared.

"…Uzumaki Naruto. Sorry, but…we have to kill you."

Naruto just kept puffing on his cigar, unruffled. His tall, moderately built physique, covered by a rather simple Konoha Jounin's outfit, minus the vest, leaned against the card table. "…Sorry? You're_ sorry_ you have to kill me? C'mon, at least be honest when you're assassinating someone."

The lead figure in the haze, which had begun to settle, laughed lightly. "Ah, Sorry. It usually makes the targets feel better if they think we don't want to kill them, but have to anyway. Duty is an opiate of sorts, you know."

He waved his hand dismissively, taking the cigar in his mouth, which was now a stub, and flinging it away to the side. He casually downed what was left of his cognac. "Eh, no problem. I'm not a 'usual' target, is all." He threw his empty glass to the other side of the room, waiting until he heard it shatter.

Naruto absently rubbed his chest. "Regardless…you guys…know who I am, right?"

The haze cleared, revealing three Ame Nin, dressed in the usual Jounin uniform, replete with re-breathers, goggles and tan jumpsuits. Each was fingering some sort of sharp object.

The lead Nin laughed again. "Uzumaki Naruto, age twenty, nukenin of Konoha, reputed to be the single strongest Shinobi in the elemental countries…nickname, the 'Ryuujin'. Yes, we know who you are. That's why there are three of us."

Naruto just blinked a few times.

And then laughed uproariously.

"…you think three…" he laughed more. "…three of you will be enough? Oh wow. That's awesome." He continued to guffaw. "…man, I don't think I've had someone actually say something like that with a straight face to me in…a _long_ time. You made my day man."

Naruto couldn't see it past the re-breather, but he thought the lead Nin frowned. "Don't take us lightly, Uzumaki. The old man that hired us, hired us for a_ reason_." He spread out his hands, as if revealing a showcase or something. "…we are the 'Amechisan'. Surely, you've heard of us."

Quite suddenly, Naruto's lax demeanor, and casual smile, morphed into something more befitting a Shinobi of his caliber. Calm, collected, but with a very hard edge.

His hair, free from a forehead protector, fell over his eyes as he leaned his head forward. "…the blood rain three, eh?"

The lead Nin once again laughed. "So you _have_ heard of us. I'm honored that such a Nin as yourself has heard of our many exploits."

Naruto was silent. Seemingly, the entire pub, devoid of customers or patrons or call girls or anyone but the four Shinobi, became extremely quiet.

It was ever so slight, but the eldest of the blood rain three's smile dimmed.

"Yeah. I've heard of you."

The smile vanished.

Naruto stood up straight.

"…purported to have slaughtered three different villages on the orders of the Ame-Banshou…famous for killing your own parents at the age of ten. Helped the Mizukage secretly in the bloodline purges."

He started walking towards the three Shinobi in front of him.

"Said to have drowned an entire village hidden in the crook of a valley, just to kill one target."

Unsurely, all three brothers took a step back.

He stopped.

"…yeah, you could say I've heard of you."

Naruto's eyes came back up…crimson. Pupils slitted. Whisker marks enlarged.

All three froze on the spot, unable to move. The killing intent…the malice that filled the air…unreal…

The blonde haired nukenin took a small, unassuming katana hilt, sans guard, from a small pouch on his leg. It was red and black, with the fibers surrounding the hilt intertwining to form a double-helix of sorts.

From the top, formed a shimmering, tight, invisible blade of wind…nearly as long as he was tall and slightly curved. It looked almost like a daikatana.

Ever so slowly, one side of Naruto's mouth curved upwards.

"You three…are precisely the type of Nin I make a living of killing."

-------------------------------------------------

She saw him walking around from the back, a small spattering of blood adorning his outfit, and a cigarette lit in his mouth.

She frowned.

"Do you know how hard it is to get bloodstains out?" She threw her hands up and shook her head. "God, every freakin' time! I swear, you fuck up every single pair of clothes I get you!"

Naruto just smirked, that devilish roguish smirk that disarmed her every time. "Yeah, my bad. Cleaning it out will have to wait though."

She almost puckered. "Wait?!"

He just nodded, taking another puff on his cigarette. She noticed he was looking at a place behind her. She turned.

And then sighed.

"He hired them?

Naruto nodded.

She began walking away, towards her small harem of call girls. They needed some consoling anyway.

She raised her hand in both dismissal and exasperation. "Do what you have to. Just make sure to get enough out of his hide to fix the wall and anything else you broke."

He nodded again, a sly smirk ever present on his vulpine face. "Ever the miser, eh Tayuya?" He chuckled and began walking towards his prey, which was being held by three of his Kage Bunshin. "Don't worry; you'll get your money."

She huffed in the near distance.

Out of earshot, his countenance dimmed.

The old man, currently struggling, quite futilely, to get away, looked on with quite a bit of fear. "Uzumaki-sama! It was a misunderstanding! They –"

He waved his hand, and one of the Kage Bunshin put his hand over the man's mouth.

"Sure, misunderstanding. Happens all the time. Water under the bridge and all that shit."

The old man whimpered.

Naruto smirked wryly. "You didn't lose _that_ much, man. Hell, buying the Amechisan probably cost at least half the total of your debts to the house combined, right?"

He sat down near the old man, leaning on the back of a park bench. The area was unassuming…forested, but lightly. It was nestled in a small nook in a village just outside of fire country, a very exclusive spot, and the spot Tayuya had set up her business. The village leaders both knew of the establishment and frequented it, but also fervently denied any of that to anyone that would ask.

He took another puff on his cigarette, and exhaled through his nose.

After a somewhat long pregnant pause, Naruto flicked his cigarette away and rubbed his chest again.

"Tell you what, old man. I'll make you a deal."

The old man nodded furiously.

Naruto yawned. "In the long run of things, you did me a favor by setting me up with those three…their bounties are pretty high, and they're on my 'list' to boot." He turned lazily towards the now somewhat relaxed old man. "…but you still hired them to _kill_ me, and more than that…you messed up Tayuya-Chan's place pretty bad…indirectly, but hey, you're responsible for the Nin you hire, y'know?"

Again, the old man nodded furiously.

He closed his eyes and propped his arms up on the backrest of the bench. His head leaned back. "So here's the deal. You pay for the damages and you settle your tab, plus twenty percent interest…and I'll let you off with a warning, so to speak."

The old man's eyes went as wide as saucers.

Naruto smiled cruelly.

He had helped with 'the books' in Tayuya's parlor of ill repute more than once. She had records on every poor sod that had ever come through her doors, including him…and she kept meticulous track of what those same poor sods owed her.

This particular sap owed something close to twenty five million ryo.

The only reason why Tayuya hadn't collected on it before is because he made a habit of losing money at the gambling tables, running up his debt even higher. She was taking her own gamble in that at some point, he would pay back to the house a _lot_ of money…which would be one hell of a boon.

Naruto had told her, time after time, that the old man wouldn't ever pay…that his tab was a liquid asset at best…

But of course, since when had she ever listened to him?

Adding twenty percent to the tab, on top of the repair bill, would make his debt to the house _far_ more than it was now. And would all but bankrupt him.

With another hand motion, the Kage Bunshin took his hand away from the man's mouth…and then all three dispelled, leaving the man to crumple to the ground pitifully.

"…bu…but…that's…that's…over thirty million ryo! You'll bankrupt me!"

He turned his ever widening cruel smile on the old man, satisfied as he saw the man's resolve and pride breaking. "…you really should have thought of that _before_ you decided to try to kill me." He laughed, it coming out as cruel as his smile. "But, such is life, right? After all…"

His smile widened until he looked like some evil, twisted version of a Cheshire cat.

"…everyone's luck runs out sometime."

--------------------------------------------------------

It had been four…maybe five years ago that she had met him.

It hadn't been a meeting of fate, or destiny, or anything like that.

No.

He had tripped over her foot.

And fallen straight into her chest.

Where he had stayed for almost five seconds.

His head, apparently, still had scars from where she hit him. Mostly because, feeling slightly guilty, she had taken him back to her 'establishment' and cleaned the wound…but she didn't feel guilty enough to use a regular disinfectant. No, she used _isopropyl_.

That shit _burned_. Like, literally. Pouring isopropyl alcohol on an open wound was akin to using salt to disinfect a mosquito bite. Sure, it worked, but…

He'd stuck around for a few days, complaining about his wounds, and gambling his ass off, winning quite a bit, too. She'd hired him as one of the house dealers, and soon after, his table had started raking in profits.

After that, they had both fallen into a mutually beneficial relationship of sorts, both of them not quite sure what to make of the other. Tayuya was a Kunoichi cum parlor mistress, and Naruto was a Shinobi cum nukenin. Each played their role, and didn't bother the other.

Neither had trusted the other, either.

They probably still didn't, though if hard pressed, they'd throw that mutual distrust away in an instant.

At the time when they were first 'figuring each other out' so to speak, he had been morose, depressed, and utterly…_defeated_. After a month or so, he quite suddenly one night regaled her with the story of why he was on the run, and why he had left the village he had loved so dearly.

It had almost made her puke in disgust at his relative softness, considering he was a Shinobi.

But she was still sympathetic.

Apparently, some Nin, on assignment under orders of the Hokage, tried to defeat a member of Akatsuki…and failed, horribly. The man, named Sarutobi Asuma, had died a rather ignoble death at the hands of Hidan, an S-Ranked nukenin out of Amegakure…which had spurred a revenge-mission that ended in the Nukenin's death, or…something close to it. He had also, apparently, used a Jutsu of immense power to defeat Kakuzu, another member of Akatsuki.

Naruto had apparently considered the matter closed, until…

Until he'd found out that Asuma had a fiancé. A _pregnant_ fiancé.

Soon after that revelation, he'd come to the decision that no one else should be sacrificed for his safety…regardless of if he fell into the hands of Akatsuki.

So, one evening, he'd written a note, packed up his things, and calmly ran away.

The rest, as they say, was history.

Naruto had stayed with her, at her parlor, for a good two or three months after that, hiding and planning, as well as surreptitiously contacting Jiraiya of the Sannin through the use of his summoning contract. Said Sannin had agreed to hide Naruto's location, as well as act as his liaison in Konoha, provided he kept Jiraiya up to date on his condition, his location, and most importantly, the state of 'the seal'.

He'd agreed.

Shortly thereafter, Naruto had been declared a Nukenin of Konoha, ranked S-Class, and then, apparently, promptly forgotten about.

No hunter Nin, no ANBU, no attempts to try and get him back. Nothing.

Tsunade of the Sannin had seen to that. Even at the demands of his former teammates and friends, she hadn't allowed _anyone_ to go after him for any reason.

Of course, they'd both learned this second hand from Jiraiya.

And then, with basically no warning, Naruto had just…_disappeared_.

For a good year and a half, neither she, nor anyone she knew had heard, seen or so much as caught a whiff of him. It had been like he had dropped off the face of the world.

And then, again, with basically no warning, he'd come back.

And begun to change_everything_.

Including her.

-------------------------------------------------

During his travels, he'd once come upon an old man who sold, of all things, women's makeup and perfume.

He'd asked the man why he would sell, in his words, 'sissy shit'.

The man had smiled at him.

And then told him a heartbreaking story about his wife, and her passion for making perfumes and makeup and all sorts of 'sissy shit'.

He'd felt horrible.

The man had waved him off and shared a drink with him…before calmly telling him that the moral of his story…

Was that everyone needed a purpose.

His, was to continue his wife's dream, even after her death.

Naruto's…was completely uncertain.

Yes, he had a goal to get stronger. As strong as he could possibly be.

Yes, he had a goal to defeat Akatsuki and finally be strong enough to protect those precious to him.

But…

Then what?

It had been something he'd thought on for almost a half of a year. What happened when he became stronger than everyone else? What happened when he finally defeated Akatsuki, when he finally got Sasuke back, when he finally got Sakura and…

He hadn't a clue.

In his rosy-red view of society, at the time, he had thought that by simply being the strongest, people would follow him…he could make not only Konoha, but the _world_ a better place, simply by being stronger.

And then, quite without warning, he had gotten himself involved in a war.

It was…rather minor as far as wars go. Two moderately sized factions with old-fashioned samurai, going against each other for land and resources and…all those things people over the ages fought wars over.

Yet, everywhere he had turned; there had been some form of tragedy.

A son losing his mother…or father. A mother losing her son. A father losing his daughter. A woman sold into slavery to pay debts, or captured by the other army to be 'stress relief'.

Horrible, wicked things humans did to each other that they thought nothing of, simply because they were powerful, and those that they victimized were not.

He had come to a realization that would change his life.

Most of the time, when he saw powerful people, they were evil. Orochimaru was evil. Members of Akatsuki were evil. Even Konoha, for enough money, could be evil.

Money, power and the use thereof ruled the world.

Power corrupted, absolute power corrupted absolutely. Money compounded the problem.

So, he had very calmly one day, sat down, and hammered out a goal for himself, a mission that would take him his entire life to accomplish, and that he could die happy having fought for.

He could change people…he knew that much. But the question was…were some people innately evil?

The answer he had come to was a firm 'yes'.

And thusly, he had dedicated himself to absolutely wiping those that were evil from the face of the earth.

For seemingly the first time in history, someone with untold amounts of power, resolved to use that power for good.

When he had returned to civilization, after more than a year of the most grueling, hard fought and won training he had ever been through…

His first action had been to get the most up to date version of the bingo book available.

He had found what he was looking for in the Banshou of a small ninja village just outside of Suna. According to the book, the man was an S-Classed Nin, known for sacrificing the people of his country for small, petty wars, and selling children, women and the 'useless' into slavery on a whim.

Within a day, he had entered the country. Within a week, he had fought through nearly sixty percent of the countries army. Within a month, the S-Class Banshou had been dead at his feet.

Quite unintentionally, he had used a relic he had found earlier in his travels to perform the final deed…a sword not unlike the Raijin of the Nidame, in that it channeled elemental chakra. However, this sword seemed to be the precise opposite of the Raijin, in that it channeled wind natured chakra instead of lightning natured chakra.

He had, of course, named it the 'Fuujin'.

Seeing as how he had cut through so many troops, and even the Banshou of a small ninja village with a sword that made cleaner, sharper, more precise cuts than even Orochimaru's Kusanagi was known for…

He had been given the nickname of 'Ryuujin' by both the populace at large, and the bingo book. The flowing blade.

All in all, he liked the moniker.

It had come as no real surprise that his actions _after_ the annihilation of a countries corrupt armies and leader were even more spectacular.

With the help of Jiraiya…though no one knew that at the time…he had defeated Pain_and_ Konan, sparing the latter, as she had been like Haku to Pain's Zabuza.

He'd learned that particular lesson the hard way.

Shortly thereafter, he had tracked down Zetsu, one of the last remaining members of the Akatsuki, and with the help of two of his fellow Jinchuuriki that should have been dead, defeated him.

He still owed Gaara one…and Yugito…

Last he heard, she was running her _own_ version of Tayuya's 'entertainment parlor'.

One featuring _men_.

He had no real desire to visit there.

Regardless, with both Pain and Zetsu firmly dead and in the ground, that had only left Itachi…and the shadowy member behind the whole thing, someone who Jiraiya called Uchiha Madara.

In the past two and a half years, neither of them had surfaced…and neither had Sasuke. It was almost like all three of them had vanished off the face of the earth, much as he had during his second training trip.

They hadn't exactly been missed.

After defeating Zetsu, Jiraiya had asked him to return to Konoha, to reunite with his friends and allies once more.

In all honesty, Naruto had no reason not to. Most of his goals were accomplished…he was extremely strong…he had grown up, both mentally and physically, meaning he could probably have any woman he wanted…no, there hadn't been any reason for him not to return to Konoha.

Save for the fact that he simply didn't want to.

Freedom was addicting. The ability to guide one's own actions, intent and purpose was…both unique in the Shinobi world, and a luxury of the highest order. In truth, during his time spent away…he'd grown far happier than he'd ever been amongst the leaves. He'd grown stronger than he'd ever had the chance to be in Konoha.

He had identified with Sasuke.

This had both scared him, and reaffirmed his decision to stay away.

Officially, he was still a Nukenin, and would stay that way until he could defeat Uchiha Madara, Itachi and possibly even Sasuke.

Unofficially…he would be a nukenin for as long as he deemed it necessary. In other words, as long as he was still free.

To that end, he had made a 'list' of sorts, of some of the most ruthless, murderous, horrible bastards from the Bingo Book. This 'list' had been published along with the most recent edition of the book itself.

Unsurprisingly, many of the Nin on the list went into hiding.

Which didn't really preclude Naruto from finding them…it just made it more challenging…which was kind of his goal in the first place.

To date, he had decimated over twenty five percent of those on his list. Because of their bounties, and bounties he had collected from the Akatsuki members and the various Nin he slew cutting through the Banshou's troops…

Well, he wasn't exactly poor.

And that wasn't even counting his gambling gains. He _never_ lost.

All of this meant that he had both the funds to finance himself, but also to finance his friends, and to make sure that the right pockets were greased.

"Naruto."

All in all, life was good. He had a place to call home, for the most part, at Tayuya's parlor…

"…Naruto!"

He had a reputation that rivaled or even surpassed his father's…

"Uzumaki _fucking_ Naruto, I swear to god…"

And he was respected by all, admired by some, and fawned over by pretty much every female he came across.

"I hate you so much."

He absently turned his head towards Tayuya, who was glaring at him from across the way.

Well, almost every female.

He smiled lazily. "…sorry, what were you saying?"

For the umpteenth time, Tayuya hit him right on the scar on his head.

God that hurt.

"…but you only hurt the one's you love…"

Tayuya, hearing his absent external thinking, snorted and stomped away. "Dream on, dipshit!"

Oh, he would.

---------------------------------------------------

"…again? This is what…the fifth time this month?"

Naruto chuckled, putting the scroll on the desk of the man he'd come to know better than almost anyone. "Sixth, actually. Three, this time. The Amechisan, to boot."

The man behind the counter whistled appreciatively. "The Amechisan…man, Amegakure's not gonna be happy. They brought in something like fifteen percent of their total GNP."

He lit up a cigarette and smiled roguishly. "Something like that. Who's the bounty payee?"

The man behind the counter motioned for Naruto to unseal the contents of the scroll, which he did swiftly. Three heads appeared neatly on three circles on the piece of paper. The man behind the counter didn't so much as flinch. He just nodded.

The man turned around and started writing something down. "The Payee is Iwa of all places. Apparently that village they drowned a year back was within their jurisdiction, and they weren't exactly happy. Almost went to war with Amegakure, if it weren't for you 'subtly' persuading them otherwise."

Naruto laughed lightly. "Amazing what threatening the Daimyo of Tsuchi no Kuni can get you." He took a puff on his cigarette, tapping off the ashes. "Well, that, and promising them that I'd eventually kill these three. Didn't know they were the bounty payers though."

The man behind the counter snorted. "Anyone else, they would have laughed your ass out of the country…but _you_…" The man chuckled and put his signature to the piece of paper he'd been writing on. "…you could say the sky was purple, and they'd believe you."

"Hah…I don't know if I'd go that far…but I suppose I hold some clout." He leaned up against the wall opposite the counter and crossed his legs to form a twist of sorts. "What's the total, Aniki?"

Naruto didn't know the guy's name…only that the man was involved in the local Yakuza. Hence, he called him 'Aniki'. Saved them both trouble.

Said 'Aniki' ripped off a receipt from his pad, absently flipping it to Naruto. "Three mil' each…so nine mil' total. You know the drill…there'll be a courier for you in a few weeks…we get a cut…all that shit."

He nodded. The standard operating procedure for collecting on bounties was to give proof of the bounty being fulfilled to a local bounty office, run privately, who would then inform the village that the bounty had been collected upon. They'd receive payment by proxy, take a five to ten percent cut, and then courier the rest to the bounty hunter himself.

He put out his cigarette in a rather conveniently placed ashtray and began walking towards the door. "Pleasure doing business with you, as always."

The man just raised his hand and shooed him off good naturedly.

Naruto, as he hit the street, couldn't help but sigh contentedly.

It was a bright, sunny day…the birds were chirping, the people were bustling…

It felt alive in so many ways that Konoha didn't.

The village closest to Tayuya's parlor, a place known simply as Taira, had become his unofficial home over the past few years. It was a mostly unremarkable city…population of a little over ten thousand, usual amenities, nothing too fancy, nothing too run down…place ran mostly off of agriculture and local crafts, with a small, mostly benevolent Yakuza presence…

It was just about perfect. It was _normal_. For whatever reason, Naruto adored normal.

One of the perks of being an S-Class nukenin, was that you didn't have to worry too much about hiding. Most nukenin had to hide out in secluded areas with little to no civilization to speak of, and they rarely if ever ventured outside of their territory, for fear of being hunted.

For S-Classes like Naruto though, there wasn't really a restriction like that. Bounty hunters pretty much stayed away from him, and enemy Nin were either usually too scared or too dead to go after him in his own turf.

There was the occasional young buck who thought he was hot shit, of course…but nine times out of ten, he just beat them easily and sent them on their way good naturedly.

The 'one' out of ten in that equation was usually a fellow Nukenin who made a living bounty hunting on the side, like him. Those times, he would finish up the fight quick and take the head to 'Aniki', usually before anyone knew that there was even an enemy amongst them.

There was another thing he loved about this place. He had become their unofficial guardian, their ward against malign presences and other unsavory types.

If a bandit camp got too close, he'd take it out. If some nukenin strolled into town and made trouble, he'd fuck them up and good.

It made him feel…wanted. Needed, even. Without him, they'd have far more trouble than they would otherwise. It felt damned good to feel useful, and to know that you were protecting people who actually appreciated your efforts.

In return for his services, as if he needed repayment, the people gave him space, leeway, respect, and even cordiality ninety nine percent of the time. There were still the hard-line hold outs who maintained that the only good Nukenin was a dead nukenin, but they were mostly old codgers who were half senile anyway.

He'd actually become something of a hero to the younger generation, a positive role model that many young boys attempted to emulate. He was the fierce, loyal, cordial and honorable protector of the weak, to them at least…and they took that mantle on themselves, absorbing the virtues of protecting those precious to you, and becoming strong for their sake.

He couldn't count the number of times he'd seen kids practicing with wooden swords, playing 'Ninja' and vanquishing the evil men come to destroy their town. The hero of their play-scenarios was even usually referred to as 'Ryuujin'.

It was hard to describe how awesome that made him feel.

As he walked down the street, hands in his pockets and smile firmly planted on his face, he noticed people giving him warm, happy smiles, admiring grins, and amorous glances from the females.

And even some of the males…

Though he ignored those.

To be honest…

It was everything he had ever hoped to have in Konoha.

A people that loved and respected him…precious people to protect…and a city that thrived around him with no ill will towards him whatsoever.

His smile grew.

It was freedom.

And it felt better than he'd ever imagined.

-------------------------------------------------------

Aside from being her highest-paid house dealer and de facto bouncer, Naruto was also Tayuya's unofficial 'enforcer'.

Meaning that when there was an unpaid debt, or a threat to her establishment or girls, he was usually the one to 'take care of it'.

Hence why he was standing in her 'office', looking at the invoice she had written up regarding the bastard from yesterday's debt.

She took a drag from her long-stemmed pipe, filled with exotic tobacco from Kusa no Kuni. "The usual carpenters quoted me at around twenty five thousand, forty thousand if I made it a rush job." She exhaled her smoke. "Needless to say, it's a rush job."

Naruto nodded, folding the invoice and sticking it in his pocket. "Of course." He rubbed his chest absently, stifling a yawn. It was a subconscious tic of his that usually meant he was thinking.

Being around the guy for a few years had her able to discern his every motion and what it related to. Rubbing his chest meant he was thinking and yawning meant he was acutely focused.

In fact, pretty much everything he did outwardly was the opposite of what he was actually feeling or thinking. Unless you happened to catch him in one of his rare moments of complete openness, which only really happened when he was feeling particularly contented or relaxed.

She stood up from her plush chair behind her mahogany desk, walking over to an armoire that contained a small smattering of exotic clothes she had custom tailored. They ranged anywhere from formal, traditional kimono's to almost-see-through lingerie and skimpy beachwear.

She absently untied the sash around her waist. "Remember, no flashy shit. Just in, get what you came for, and get out. With your reputation, any resistance should flee the moment you get there." She took off her red casual housecoat of sorts, not really caring that it revealed her in her bra and panties to Naruto.

He'd seen her in less. Not during any coital moments, but they were just that comfortable around each other.

From behind her, close to the door, she heard a mostly fake whine. "Damn it, I wanted a good fight. Spoilsport."

She couldn't help the small smirk that formed on her face as she picked out a loose green kimono with a white slip. "You haven't had a good fight in a long time, and you know it. If you really wanted a good fight, you wouldn't be spending your time here."

Naruto huffed. "I just want the competition to come to me, not the other way around. I'm a lazy bastard, and you know it."

Tayuya chuckled. "Or at least, that's how you want to be seen."

Silence for a moment.

She froze as she felt hands cup her breasts lightly.

"Oh…I think they've grown!"

Turning around more quickly than anyone had a right to, she hit Naruto right on the scar on his head.

Unsurprisingly, the clone gave her a smirk as he vanished.

She cursed…then sighed.

Tying off her sash and tapping the ash out of her still-lit pipe, she resolved to beat the shit out of him when he got back.

Her expression softened.

She shook her head, almost in resignation, as she stepped out of her office and into her girls' collective antechamber.

One of these days, he'd take it further than just puerile groping.

One of these days.

---------------------------------------------------------

His expression softened as he received the memories from his Kage Bunshin.

Tayuya was worried about him, even if she didn't show it.

Flying through the sparsely populated forest as quickly as the fastest of Nin, he chuckled slightly. One of these days…they'd really have to sit down and have a heart to heart.

It would end with him either beaten to a pulp, or in bed without any clothes on.

Or both.

Tayuya was kinky like that.

She rarely showed her emotions, actually. It wasn't as if she didn't have them…she was just…crusty. She had this emotional scab over a wound that hadn't quite healed since her time in Oto, and even before.

Giving everything she had to Orochimaru, and then being tossed away as a sacrifice to secure his new body…had hurt her more than she cared to admit. Hell, she'd only survived due to the fact that a wandering merchant couple had found her and very slowly and carefully nursed her back to health. It had been a stroke of luck that was uncommon to the woman.

Though, because of her defeat at the combined hands of Shikamaru and Temari, she still couldn't use chakra. The tree that fell on her had crushed her coils beyond anything anyone other than Tsunade could heal.

She was still strong, though. He made no mistake about that. She had trained her body to the point of collapse over the course of a few years, working to overcome her chakra limitation, much the same as Lee. Because of that, she was faster and stronger than most Jounin Shinobi he knew of.

Hell, with the various seals that covered her body activated, ones that he had made, actually, she could probably give him a run for his money, at least in the strength department.

Though, she couldn't hold a candle to him if he was serious. Very few people could.

Because he was easily the fastest man alive.

He had figured out, rather early in his training, that speed plus momentum was a greater force than raw strength could ever be. A punch from a static position, enhanced with chakra, could be extremely powerful…but a punch with speed and momentum behind it, even without chakra enhancement, was far stronger.

So he had worked on speed, far more than anything else. He had even created his own version of Shunshin in the process, a Jutsu that, he had been told at least, was extremely ingenious…as well as unique to him.

Mostly because it used an ungodly amount of chakra.

Which, to him, wasn't actually that much.

The basic principle behind it was the same principle behind all Shunshin variations, transport version, battle version, or otherwise. You ride a 'wrinkle' in space-time and just…_shift_. It sounded far harder than it actually was.

Shunshin had been explained to him once, as 'traversing the sine wave'. The old, weathered Shinobi that had taught him a little about it had said that you had to think of space-time as one big, never ending sine wave. You had peaks, you had valleys, and you had everything in between. Shunshin was a Jutsu specifically meant to traverse that sine wave, shifting from one point on that wave to another by tightening the wave itself, or in other words, increasing the frequency. If the valleys and peaks were closer together, that is to say, if the frequency was higher, you could get from one point to another far more easily than if the waves were far apart.

The difference between the various versions of Shunshin was in the details, the frequency, and the focus.

For example, if you focused harder, and if your control was good enough, you could tighten the wave far more than if you didn't have that focus and control. If you had a definite idea of where exactly on that wave you were standing, you could then more easily shift to another point.

Naruto, of course, had completely fucked that premise up. To the inordinate surprise of the old man, he had turned the very concept of one of the oldest Jutsu in existence on its head, seemingly creating a new variation that worked far better than the original…at least, for him.

Instead of riding 'the' sine wave…he had ridden 'a' sine wave.

One that he created with his own chakra. One that was directly inverse to the original sine wave…that is to say, one that was parallel to, but opposite of the original.

The old man had said he had added a 'third dimension' to the Jutsu, or something like that. He was apparently not shifting forwards or backwards or even up and down…he was shifting side to side, from one space-time to another, at intersecting points that he controlled. This was because he wasn't just tightening _one_ sine wave, he was tightening_both_. This meant he could ride one sine wave irrespective of the second, and intersect the second wherever he wanted, far more quickly and far more stealthily.

Because…and this was the beauty of the variation, apparently…

No one could feel him coming.

Technically, because he didn't exist in space-time until he warped back into it, his chakra signature was completely _gone_ until he was right behind you.

And by then, of course, it was far too late to do anything about it.

All of this took an absolutely insane amount of chakra…roughly half of what it took to perform a Rasenshuriken every time he used it.

Which, again…wasn't that much to him. His reserves dwarfed even the most massive of 'normal' chakra reserves.

Absently, still in his thoughts, he noticed that he'd arrived at the almost-mansion of the old man from the day before.

He slowed his pace and landed on a grassy knoll in front of the impromptu 'gates', that was really just some wood built into a low fence, and began walking towards the entrance.

* * *

A/N: Twenty points to anyone who recognizes where I got my explanation from for Shunshin. 

Anyway, good, bad? Indifferent? Meh. Let me know.


	2. La Mort de Jours Nonchalants

Chapter two. Plot, class, and a dose of fluff. Not too much though. You can choke on that stuff.

.oturaN nwo t'nod I

* * *

The house was cushy…not too fancy, but certainly on the higher-end as far as houses go. 

As Naruto walked through the hallways, after having kicked in the front door, he took some time to admire the place.

Oaken wood paneling, solid wood finished floors, high ceilings, solid cedar doors…the place was definitely built with class and sturdiness in mind. Probably by some high-class carpenters, if the construction was anything to go by. Not many people used four by eights anymore, especially not oak.

Maybe after he bankrupted this guy, and he was forced to sell his place, he'd buy it. It was certainly better than his current digs in the basement of Tayuya's parlor. Mind you, his room wasn't bad by any stretch of the imagination…it was roomy, well insulated, and very comfortable…but…

Well, having a house would just be so much cooler. Especially a place like this. It wasn't really built with security in mind…but with the amount of money he had, he could definitely afford to hire some carpenters to outfit it with some extra stuff…maybe build an earthberm on the backside, reinforce the foundation, add an escape tunnel, and maybe even some pillboxes…it definitely had potential, at least.

Tearing his eyes away from the moderately sized crystalline chandelier on the ceiling outside of the old man's study, he calmly took his hand out of his pocket and rapped lightly on the door.

The old man hadn't answered him when he knocked on his front door…causing him to kick it in…he might have to kick this one in too. Which would just mean more work for him in the long run, but such was life. Great doors though. Mahogany, if he wasn't mistaken. The hinges tore long before the door cracked.

Quirking the side of his mouth in frustration, he rapped again, far more forcibly than last time. "Oi, old man! I'm here to collect! You're just making this harder on yourself, you know!"

He waited for a few moments, to hear anything coming from the other side.

No answer.

Naruto sighed.

With a chakra-enhanced kick, the door flew across the study, impacting with shattering force against the brick and mortar fire place on the other side of the room.

He stood in the doorway for a moment, observing the room with widened eyes.

"…shit."

Naruto shook his head in frustrated exasperation and lit up a cigarette, walking slowly into the study, and up to the body of the old man, resting limply in his chair in front of the fireplace.

There was a half-filled cup of…what smelled like whiskey on his side table. He dipped his finger into it, and swiped his tongue…moments later, he shook his head in resignation.

It tasted lightly of almonds.

Cyanide. The old man was dead within a minute of his first sip.

He, of course, was all but immune to poison, thanks to the Kyuubi's beneficial effects…but he was the exception to the rule.

Sighing, Naruto leaned up against the fireplace and puffed absently on his cigarette. "…damn it old man. It was just money. No sense in killing yourself over it."

He turned his gaze skyward, taking a long drag. "…obstinate old shit."

Flicking his cigarette into the dead man's ashtray, he absently drew Fuujin and activated it, causing the blade to sprout from the tip of the hilt. Casually, he made a swift, neat cut across the man's neck, severing his head. With a few hand seals, he performed a very basic Katon Jutsu, and incinerated the body.

He then drew a simple seal on the severed-head's forehead, causing it to vanish in a puff of smoke into a storage seal located on his forearm. He'd take the time to properly seal it in a scroll later.

Closing his eyes, he muttered a small prayer in respect for the dead.

Seconds later, he pushed himself off the fireplace and started walking towards a painting on the wall.

In his experience, most people thought that paintings were great to put in front of safes, ostensibly to hide them in plain sight and create a barrier for any potential thieves.

Most of the time, it was an absolutely useless tactic, at best. It was a comedy at worst.

Shifting aside the painting on the wall with a gentle push, he smirked slightly. Yep. Stainless steel, five combination safe with a blood-seal identification barrier present on the front.

Great against regular thugs, bandits and thieves who weren't Shinobi. Nearly impenetrable, actually.

Against Shinobi, you might as well have hidden your things underneath your mattress.

Engulfing his hand in chakra, he sunk his fingers into the front, and ripped off the door like it was made out of paper.

If brute force didn't work, you weren't using enough of it.

Taking a look inside of the now fully bared safe, he saw precisely what he was looking for. Not money…but the next best thing.

The man's life, all collected neatly on paper.

Account numbers, passwords, locations of his financial deposits, certificates of securities, annuities, real estate holdings, stock bonds…

And pictures of what looked to be a younger, hairy man sleeping with an older woman that had a ring on her finger.

Blackmail material, undoubtedly. Tayuya would find a use for it, if anyone could.

Taking a small scroll from his Kunai pouch, he unfurled it and began laying out the contents of the safe on top of a set of intricate seals. With a puff of smoke, all the papers that contained the old man's life vanished within the scroll's depths.

Making the trek outside through the same route he used to get in, he bit his thumb and drew a quick, simple seal on the front door, giving it a relatively small amount of chakra to activate it.

With a shimmer, the house gained a slight blue sheen, denoting that the shielding ward was working. It would prevent anyone from getting inside until he got back, which would prevent looting or larceny or anything of that family of crimes.

He still wanted the house and everything in it…and technically, after he got the right paperwork through the right channels, he could still have it. Mind you, there wasn't anyone stopping him from simply claiming the property as his own…but making it official would save him hassle in the long run.

His body seemed to stretch and dematerialize a split millisecond before he vanished, using Shunshin to travel to Tayuya's parlor.

---------------------------------------------------

Even from the day they met, Tayuya was under no illusions as to who precisely held the power in their rather complex and unusual relationship.

Naruto was not her subordinate. He was not her employee. He was not her soldier, or bodyguard or business associate or…anything to that effect.

He was simply her…

She frowned.

To be honest, she had no idea what he was to her. Her 'orders' to him were suggestions at best, as he had every right to disobey them or outright ignore them whenever he wanted. His 'job' as a house dealer was really nothing more than a mutually beneficial agreement wherein she waived all expenses he incurred for anything and everything he did at her parlor, and in return, he threw her twenty percent of his winnings…which totaled far more than he ever cost her.

He had enough money to buy her parlor ten times over, and enough reputation and clout to probably take over a small country without any objections.

So then…why was he even bothering with her in the first place? He'd obviously come a long way from the distraught and confused teenager she met five years ago…surpassing her in just about everything they'd ever had in common. Money, power, reputation, ability…he trumped her in every aspect.

And yet…he still agreed to do things for her as if he was a subordinate…he still agreed to 'work' for her as a dealer…he still told people that he was 'Tayuya's enforcer'.

When there was no reason whatsoever for him to do, be, or say any of those things.

Her frown deepened, her pipe forgotten on her desk.

It unnerved her, to be honest. Why would someone like him, bother with someone like her? Why would someone like him be subservient to someone like her, even if only somewhat? She'd helped him out in the beginning, sure…but his debt to her had been repaid years ago. If anyone owed anyone anything, _she_ owed _him_.

So what was the reason for him to even give two shits about her?

"Hmm…you look constipated."

Her head snapped up, her face twisted in surprise, to see Naruto sitting on the edge of her desk, giving her a very curious…but amused…expression.

She snarled. "God damn it Naruto! I've told you once, I've told you a thousand fucking times! Don't do that!"

Naruto had the gall to grin. "But your face is so cute scrunched up like that when you're thinking! You've got this look like a young puppy staring at a piece of tin foil, wondering why you can see your reflection…it's just adorable!"

Her eyebrows twitched. "…I look like…a puppy?"

He reached out and pinched her cheek, like a grandma visiting her grandson. "A cute, adorable, red haired puppy!"

Drawing a Kunai, she stabbed him in the crotch. Of course, the clone just puffed out of existence.

Naruto…the real Naruto, appeared across her desk, sitting in the chair meant for visitors. He had a wry, mischievous, and amused look on his vulpine façade.

Tayuya, only with the thinnest of margins, resisted the urge to draw her wakizashi, strapped to her thigh, and impale him. She'd even activate her seals, if only for the chance to make him bleed!

Across her desk, Naruto laughed lightly and rubbed the back of his head. "You're cute when you're angry."

Her hand twitched at its position on her thigh, close to the hilt of her blade. She'd only cut him a little…just a little bit…just enough to make him bleed…

Seconds before she would have drawn her wakizashi and charged him, Naruto waved his hand dismissively, his face relaxing into a much more businesslike complexion. He flipped a cigarette up to his mouth and lit it with a spark of flame that appeared on his thumb. "I guess, before you kill me, I should start talking about the old man and the money, right?"

She nodded dangerously.

He blew out a puff of smoke, rubbing his chest absently. "Right then." He tapped his cigarette off. "When I got there, I found the old fucker dead…suicide; cyanide was his poison of choice." With a snap of his fingers, the severed head of the man appeared in his hand. He set it carefully on Tayuya's desk. "As per usual, I got his head so we can prove that he's deceased…and of course…"

He reached into his shuriken pouch and pulled out the scroll with the old man's financial documents sealed into it. "…I got whatever important documents I could get my hands on. What's in the scroll was in his safe…" he unfurled the scroll and applied a small amount of chakra into the seals. The papers popped out. "…and it includes anything and everything from old war bonds to promissory notes from some rather high-society people. Near as I can tell, all the stuff combined probably runs around twenty five or thirty million ryo in total…around what his debt was."

Now fully calmed down at the mention of money, she nodded and puffed on her once-forgotten pipe. "And his estate?"

Naruto shrugged. "Put a warding seal on it and left it as is. I figure once we get everything settled out, I can move in."

Quite unexplainably, her stomach lurched.

He yawned. "It's a pretty nice pad though. High ceilings, solid wood construction, various and sundry accoutrements of moderate to high value…all in all, a pretty sweet place." He took another drag and smirked. "It should be a far sight better than my room in your basement, at least."

She flinched. If he noticed, he didn't outwardly show it.

She stood and turned around, walking absently to a window that looked out over the city of Taira. At twilight, the city was beautiful…the lights of different businesses illuminated the almost-night in countless different colors, causing the city to look almost like a festival town if the light from the waxing moon caught it just right.

Her voice came out far softer and reserved than she intended. "…moving out then, eh? Gonna make the place your own?"

From behind her, Naruto snorted. "Bah. Don't make such a big deal out of it. It's less than a mile out of town anyway…do you know how quickly I can travel a mile?"

Quite unwillingly, a soft smile bloomed on her face.

For whatever reason…

She'd thought he was leaving her.

She chuckled and shook her head. "That's not the point, dumbass." Again, her voice was far softer than she intended it to be. "…it won't be the same around here without you."

For a few moments, Naruto was silent.

She felt strong arms encircle her waist, and Naruto's mane of soft, almost furry hair brush against her neck. Her eyes widened. His breath on her neck…was sending shivers down her spine.

She wasn't used to displays of affection…puerile groping was one thing…but this was genuine, heartfelt affection…

From Naruto of all people.

He chuckled near her ear…and she savored his deep baritone. "You worry too much, you know that?" The arms around her waist tightened slightly, as he raised his head and rested his chin on the peak of her head. Her hands found his around her waist, and their fingers intertwined. They both just stared out at the city for a long, comfortable moment.

Taking a chance, she leaned back into him. Kami, the man was built like a brick shithouse…

"Idiot…if I don't worry about you…who will?"

Again, Naruto chuckled. "I know."

He kissed the top of her head, before resuming their previous position.

She could barely breathe.

"…if you didn't worry about me…no one would. For that, Tayuya…I'm grateful."

Tayuya couldn't help but smile.

"Don't thank me…" Her head leaned up against his chest. "…asshole."

He laughed.

For what seemed like hours afterwards, they just stood there…comfortable, happy, and contented.

For Tayuya…all was right in the world.

---------------------------------------------

Being a Shinobi wasn't always about assassinations, stealing information, or fighting to the death.

For example, a Shinobi given a bodyguard job often never fought during the duration of the mission. Depending on the client, they were sometimes expected to act as consorts, or perhaps escorts…including suits, ties, formal dress, conversation, proper etiquette…and only act the part of the bodyguard if a genuine threat presented itself.

On his trip with Jiraiya, when the old man had been explaining this to him, Naruto had made the joke that they were basically high-paid, well trained male geisha.

Jiraiya had looked him dead in the eye and told him that he was exactly right.

Naruto, at the time, had gulped nervously.

Now, years later, as he was putting on his formal suit, he merely smiled.

The training Jiraiya had given him when he was still young hadn't all been combat training. Instead, Jiraiya had sometimes focused on other facets of life, especially facets that related to both being a Hokage, and performing missions other than simple combat. This had included how to dress formally, how to act presentable and classy, how to converse, how to be quiet and dignified…basically, how to act like a 'stuffy noble bastard'.

At the time, he'd all but disregarded the training, but still retained it.

He adjusted his red tie around his collar.

Now…he was relishing in it.

Tonight, a banquet was being held in town, hosted by the city council. The banquet was, ostensibly, to celebrate the town's good fortune over the past year, both in business, and otherwise. As such, prominent business owners from all across the city had been invited…including Tayuya.

Bringing a date, or consort, was optional, but…most people there would have one, even if they were just hired bodyguards or Shinobi or even geisha.

Naruto had been drafted unilaterally by Tayuya to be her 'consort'. After their 'hug' in her office, she had informed him of the banquet…told him, simply, to 'dress nice'…and then promptly dismissed him.

Essentially, it was her way of asking him on a 'date'…such as a 'date' was when it came to Tayuya, anyway.

His 'nice' outfit was actually one of the few outfits Naruto had chosen for himself, as opposed to having Tayuya, or one of her girls take him shopping to get clothes. Most of his clothing, therefore, was chosen by the various and sundry women in his life.

This suit, however, was one of his few rare acquisitions in regards to anything other than weapons or supplies.

He wore black, shiny leather dress shoes with, of course, black socks. His pants were black, with red pinstripes running down the legs. He wore a darker silver silk dress shirt, with a red tie, and above that, a black suit with matching red pinstripes to his pants. In his coat pocket was a neatly folded red handkerchief, sticking out just an inch or so from the pocket itself. Resting on top of his head was a silver fedora with a black ribbon around the base and a red feather poking up, propped in the ribbon. Completing the ensemble was a relatively expensive silver watch on his left wrist, and a thick golden ring with an inset onyx, his birthstone, on his right ring finger. The necklace Tsunade had imparted to him as a child hung freely from his neck, contrasting with the red of his tie rather well.

Neither Tayuya, nor anyone else had ever seen him wear this particular suit. In fact, he'd only ever worn it once…when he was being fitted for it.

Standing in front of a full body mirror, he put his hands in his pockets and turned diagonally, putting one of his patented roguish, devilish smiles on his face.

He looked…_dashing_…if he did say so himself.

Walking out of his room, he grabbed a dark maroon leather evening coat and slung it around his shoulders. He plucked a cigarillo from a rather fancy case in his coat pocket, and sticking it unceremoniously in his mouth, lit it.

He walked up the stairs.

And straight into what was, quite obviously, an ambush.

Tayuya had gathered her girls, and a few of her closer friends, at the top of his stairwell, probably to ogle him.

He sighed out a plume of smoke.

Silence reigned for a good thirty seconds.

Tayuya, dressed in a crimson form fitting, strapless gown that came down to about mid calf on her, black stilettos, and golden earrings with a pearl necklace, was agape.

"Holy shit."

He groaned.

High paid geisha's indeed.

--------------------------------------------

The walk across town to where the banquet was being held was a very comfortable, if awkward event.

On the streets, there was no shortage of people dressed up. Aside from the banquet, there as also a large festival being held, replete with fireworks, food, games, and street merchants…the whole 'festival' _thing_ as it were.

However, what was different, was that the richest and most powerful man in town…him…was both dressed up, and 'escorting' unarguably the richest and most powerful woman in that same town…Tayuya.

As such, they were a spectacle. People would stop at the side of the street to smile or wave at them, people bowed to them for no real reason, it seemed, and kids openly gawked at them from behind or beside their parents.

Naruto, for his part, was…well, not used to it, but far more acclimated to it than his 'date' for the evening. As such, when she put her left arm in the crook of his right, and all but cleaved to him, he didn't say a word. Being stared at or talked about or just _noticed_ by anyone and everyone was scary, even if the looks, stares and talking was positive.

He knew first hand just how bad it could be if they weren't.

Looking down at the woman clinging to him, he noticed that she seemed to be taking it…as well as could be expected under the circumstances. Because Tayuya ran a 'house of ill repute', she rarely ventured out and into society, save for a few times…such as now. As a result of that, she wasn't used to being the center of attention.

She was out of her element.

What, exactly, her 'element' was, could be debated.

Looking ahead, he grinned at the people who in the street, chomping at his cigarillo which had burned down to a stogie. "Tayuya…are you doing alright?"

He felt the woman tighten her grip on his arm, almost painfully. "Of course not, dipshit. All this attention is your department, not mine."

Laughing, Naruto reached his left hand over and patted the top of her hand gently. Expectedly, she threw him a glare.

"It's fine, trust me. Just nod and smile and wave, and they'll go right back to doing what they were doing before they saw us." He absently waved at a passerby who waved at him jovially. "See? Nothing to it. Just be…congenial."

Tayuya scoffed, but made an effort to smile at least. It looked extremely tense on her normally severe features. "You've known me for almost five years…have you ever seen me be 'congenial', asshole?"

His own grin took on a wry quality. "Well, no, not really. But, there's a first time for everything, right?"

She elbowed him in the ribs. He just laughed again.

After about fifteen minutes of walking, they arrived at their shindig, being greeted at the door by a very enthusiastic pageboy, and ushered into the event by an equally as enthusiastic maitre de.

Almost as if they were in some kind of movie, they were told to wait in a hallway leading to the actual hall itself, as the maitre de went up and talked to a man in a tuxedo. The man in the tuxedo glanced back at them, smiled cordially, and then went to the top of the staircase leading down into the banquet hall.

Naruto groaned. If this was what he thought it was…

"Ladies and gentleman! It is my pleasure to introduce two of our most esteemed guests this evening! Please join me in welcoming Uzumaki Naruto, and Tayuya!"

Tayuya, on his arm, tensed like a deer in the sights of a hunter.

Naruto shook his head in exasperation, but quickly composed himself, almost dragging Tayuya along with him.

When they got to the top of the staircase, he stopped, and put on his brightest, happiest, goofiest, most fake grin ever. He felt Tayuya, again, tighten herself against his arm.

The members of the impromptu audience, milling around, drinking, smoking, talking and generally being pompous, actually _clapped_.

For a good thirty seconds, the invitee's of the ball gave them a polite ovation. Naruto took it in stride, waving occasionally, laughing lightly, and smiling brightly. As soon as the applause began to die down, he started to descend the staircase, again, almost dragging Tayuya along for the ride.

When he got to the bottom, he was greeted by a second maitre de. "Uzumaki-sama, Tayuya-sama, it is indeed a pleasure to have you here. May I get you two anything to drink or eat?"

Naruto shifted into his more debonair persona, giving the man his 'devil in a suit' smile. "Indeed…I'll have Courvoisier, ten fingers, and she'll have a Bordeaux of blackberry brandy, the finest in your stock. No food, for now."

The man smiled politely and bowed, hurrying off to gather their chosen alcoholic beverages. Naruto turned his attention back to the room, taking it in for the first time.

It was large…at least as far as ballrooms went. It was probably at least one hundred and fifty yards from the entrance to the back, and at least one hundred yards side to side. Window-doors lined the far side of the room, leading out to a spacious balcony that overlooked a waterfall. Tables were set up on either side of the main thoroughfare, though they were spaced so that one didn't get a feeling of being divided. The floor was made of some kind of white marble…and the ceiling was multi-vaulted, with five large chandeliers hanging from it. The walls were an inviting color of light beige.

There were a few possible exits if shit hit the fan…the door where the maitre de's entered and exited…the main entrance…and of course, the balcony. The tables looked sturdy enough to use as shielding if necessary, but…

He smiled exasperatedly and shook his head. He was thinking about all of this like a Shinobi, not an escort. It never hurt to be prepared…but for now, he should worry about enjoying himself…and helping Tayuya to enjoy herself as well.

Speaking of which, Tayuya was cutting off blood circulation to his right arm.

"…I kind of like my right arm, Tayuya. I'd appreciate it if you didn't kill it."

The woman looked at him again, still pissed off…or rather, scared shitless with a pissed off façade. "You can grow back another one later…for now, this one's mine."

He barely resisted the urge to sweat-drop.

"Uzumaki-sama! Or should I say, Ryuujin-sama? Which do you prefer?"

Oh shit. They'd been ambushed.

Keeping himself collected and 'cool', he turned both himself and Tayuya to face the woman who had addressed him. She was short…fat…and dressed in a pink dress that was entirely too small for her. It was also rather obvious she was wearing a wig.

He threw her a lady-killer smile, satisfied and repulsed as she blushed. "Either one is fine; though…I can't say I know your name."

The woman fluttered her eyelashes in a supposedly flirty way. "Oh, where are my manners. You can call me Chichi…" She tried to be cute, and failed. "…or Chichi-_chan_ if you prefer…"

His smile widened…and he very much resisted the urge to flinch. Now he remembered why he hated formal company. You always had to keep up appearances. No matter how much you wanted to tell someone off or shove a Rasengan through their skull, you had to just grin, laugh, and bear it.

"Chichi-san it is then. I'd love to stay and chat, but if you'll excuse me, I really need to attend to…" he gestured out towards the tables with his free hand. "…certain matters of importance. You understand, right?"

The woman frowned slightly, but managed to nod and give him another flirty glance before she bowed. "Of course. You just got here, I'm sure you need to find a place to sit and order some food…try the roast duck, it's simply _divine_." She threw a glance at Tayuya, who was busy trying to smile, and mostly failing. "Oh, my, I forgot to greet your lady friend, Uzumaki-sama. I'm sure that's forgivable, all things considered, of course."

His smile _almost_ faltered. "Oh? I'm afraid I haven't an idea what you mean."

She laughed lightly, her bust bouncing in the process. Naruto threw up a little in his mouth.

"Oh, civilized women don't say such things, Uzumaki-sama. It's just…" She smirked at Tayuya, whose eyebrow was twitching dangerously. "…well, some people make money more easily than others, through more scurrilous means than normal, you see."

Naruto cocked his head, though he knew exactly what the women meant. "…you mean like bounty hunting?"

The woman grinned at him. "Oh, no darling. Bounty hunting is truly a noble profession, especially considering the targets you go after. You're doing quite the service for both this town, and all decent and honest people."

He smiled bashfully, playing his part perfectly. Inside, he was…a tad mad.

"Thanks…that means a lot. But…that still leaves the question, madam…" he put on his most innocent face. "…of what you're referring to."

The woman's smile drooped, ever so slightly.

She drew her lipstick-stained glass to her lips and took a sip of some extremely strong smelling alcohol, before waving her hand dismissively. "…well, you see, some businesses appeal to the more…_human_ nature within people." She took another sip of whatever her drink was. Naruto felt Tayuya shaking.

The woman actually blushed. "…and you know, some people are just…tempted by these businesses, or rather, the people running them. My husband, actually, was tempted rather recently, however…" She smiled smarmily. "…I managed to help him…overcome that temptation."

Before Tayuya could burst, Naruto laughed lightly.

"I see, Chichi-san. How, exactly, did you break him of this temptation?"

Chichi laughed again, and Naruto swallowed his puke this time. "…I have my ways, Naruto-sama."

Quite suddenly, Naruto's innocent face and pleasant grin morphed into something more befitting the beast sitting in his stomach.

His eyes opened wider, violet.

This woman had insulted Tayuya. She deserved this.

"…You know…it might just be me…"

The smile of the woman in front of him vanished.

"…but I can see how you could break a man of his temptation for the fairer sex."

Before the woman could so much as stammer, he bowed lightly, evil smile never faltering, and turned around to find a table.

Tayuya, still cleaving to his arm, head down, tried very hard not to smile.

------------------------------------------

"You didn't have to do that."

Naruto pulled out Tayuya's chair, waiting until she'd sat in it before pushing it back in. He unceremoniously plopped himself in one adjacent to his 'date'.

"I know." He grinned and pulled out another cigarillo. "But she pissed me off."

Tayuya scowled and leaned her head on her propped-up arm. "Still. I could've taken care of her myself, asshole."

He cocked his head. "Without killing her?"

She was conspicuously silent.

"I thought so."

"Quiet."

He grinned again.

"Uzumaki-sama…Tayuya-sama…your drinks."

The maitre de had arrived at their table, carrying a small tray with a mostly-full tall glass of amber liquid, and a far larger bell-bottomed glass filled with a much darker red liquid. He set them down in front of them before bowing and scurrying away.

He took a sniff of his drink and then a sip. "…hmm. Not bad. Not as good as the stuff I usually drink, but not bad."

Tayuya took a gulp of hers, before sighing contentedly. "It's alcohol…it's good."

Naruto raised his glass. "I'll drink to that."

She raised hers and smirked. "You'll drink to anything."

They both took a sip.

"Oh, Uzumaki-sama…I didn't think I'd get to see you here."

Another ambush. Why he hadn't sensed them, he'll never know.

He turned his head towards the new arrivals, satisfied that they were far easier on the eyes than their previous acquaintance had been. The man was tall, with a small, well trimmed goatee, dressed in a formal, nondescript black suit. The woman was in a black gown similar to Tayuya's, shorter than him but taller than Tayuya, her pale and delicate features a contrast to the man parallel to her.

She was a Kunoichi. Absolutely no doubt about it. That stance…the tone of her muscles…it was quite obvious to the trained eye.

Reaching across the table, he shook the man's outstretched hand. "A pleasure to meet you, Mr.…"

The man smiled cordially. "Tamanaka. Ritsuo Tamanaka." He gestured to the woman at his side. "…and this is my wife, Ritsuo Masato."

He gave them a warm, inviting smile. "Welcome to our table, then." He motioned to one of the chairs at the table. "Please, have a seat."

Bowing slightly to him, they did just that, the man performing the same service for his 'wife' that Naruto had performed for Tayuya, before sitting himself down directly across from him on the other side of the table.

It didn't go unnoticed by him that the Kunoichi was between him and the man she was guarding.

"I have to say, Uzumaki-san, I hadn't expected someone like you to be able to attend a rather formal affair such as this…or rather…" he smiled roguishly and took a sip from his own beverage, a scotch if he wasn't mistaken. "…I didn't know that you even liked things like this. Forgive me, but your reputation is one that suggests your proclivities lie elsewhere."

Naruto waved his hand casually. "Reputations are eighty percent rumor and twenty percent truth anyway." His rather fake smile increased in volume. "To be perfectly honest though, I wouldn't have come if not for my employer asking me to. That's not to say I'm not enjoying myself, but rather, formal events are outside my normal resume, you understand."

Tayuya sent him a warning glare. He paid it no real notice.

Tamanaka laughed lightly. "Well, you certainly act the part of nobility rather easily. One would think you were raised in it by your manners." He took another sip. "Forgive me once again, but the image of a nukenin is one that doesn't lend itself to a polite and well mannered individual."

Naruto's 'date' chose that moment to perk up. "Shinobi are often called upon to act as bodyguards…as such, they must learn to at least be presentable at formal events."

So, she knew that the woman was a Kunoichi too. Good.

The man's smile noticeably dimmed, but he recovered rather quickly. "Is that so? I'm afraid I'm a neophyte when it comes to knowing anything about Shinobi or their trade."

Tayuya took another gulp of her brandy. "That's why Shinobi exist in the first place. So that civilians don't have to learn how to fight or anything of that sort." She waved her hand absently, not exactly looking the part of a refined lady. "If civilians knew about how the Shinobi caste worked so easily, I'd be worried."

The Kunoichi across from her took a light sip of something that looked like seltzer. Her voice was rather soft, but carried a definite edge. "…and what's your opinion of Kunoichi, Tayuya-san? The term 'Shinobi' usually refers to males, doesn't it?"

The red haired woman scowled. "I never bought into the whole Shinobi-Kunoichi term difference. A Nin is a Nin, what the term for that Nin is doesn't matter, so long as they do what they're supposed to."

'Masato' laughed lightly and politely in a tone that irritated him. "So you believe that the term 'Shinobi' refers to males as well as females then?" Seeing Tayuya nod, the woman continued with a slight smirk on her almost delicate features. "…so then, why is it that Naruto-sama has learned how to act the part of a refined gentleman, and you, by your own words, a Shinobi as well, have not learned how to act the part of a refined lady?"

Tayuya slammed her hand down on the table quite suddenly, standing in the process. The man looked surprised, but Naruto and the Kunoichi didn't seem fazed. "Are you trying to pick a fight, girl?"

Said 'girl' laughed condescendingly. "Oh? Why would I ever wish to pick a fight, Tayuya-san? I'm merely a woman…I believe fighting is best left for men."

Naruto calmly set his drink down on the table, his eyes hidden beneath his hair. Tayuya gave him a wide-eyed look, feeling the buildup…

He took the limiters off his Ki, and directed all of it towards the Kunoichi to his right. She froze in mid sip, eyes wide and sweat breaking out on her skin. Her 'husband' didn't seem to notice.

"…yes, fighting is better left to men, isn't it, Masato-san?" He took his own sip from his cognac. The woman was shaking. "…but, Shinobi don't really fight, as much as they…_solve problems_…quickly and quietly, without anyone noticing. Don't you agree?"

He glanced fleetingly at the woman who was currently trying not to suffocate, before laughing lightly. "I mean…in my line of work…I could easily kill someone before they even notice they're in danger." He set his drink down again. "…or…I could even kill them without even drawing a weapon…"

For a good fifteen seconds, tension and fully directed Ki hung pregnant in the air.

He lowered the floodgates.

The woman gulped air, simultaneously grasping her throat.

He stood slowly, giving a polite smile to those at the table. "I'm sorry, but if you'll excuse me for a moment…"

The man at the table, staring confusedly at his escort, seemed to fluster for a moment. "Uh…yes, yes of course."

Naruto bowed slightly, before walking off, drink in his hand, towards the balcony.

--------------------------------------------------------

It was a starry night…nary a cloud in the sky. A full moon hung high in the black void, its light shining off the waterfall in front of him. The balcony was empty, save for him, and he was well away from the hustle and bustle of the banquet.

An overall poignant scene.

He sighed.

"You can come out now."

From behind him, he heard a slightly startled gasp, and then a chagrined chuckle. A figure in a tight black dress began walking towards him from the shadows. "…of course. How silly of me to think I could hide my presence from you."

He took a sip from his cognac. "I'm not in a particularly good mood at the moment, Kunoichi…thanks to you. Speak, before I find cause to feed you to the waterfall."

The Kunoichi who had replaced herself with a clone at the table, to guard her charge, just sighed and relaxed her stance. "As you wish." She walked up to the railing of the balcony and stood parallel to him, staring at the serene waterfall. "I apologize, for what it's worth…it was the only means I had of possibly getting you alone…and I had to gauge your strength. You did not disappoint."

Seeing his increasingly peeved expression, she got down to business. "…to put it simply, Ryuujin-sama…I represent Amegakure…and I have been authorized to extend an invitation to you in regards to becoming our Kage."

Only slightly startled, Naruto gave her a sideways look, before shaking his head. "I refuse. If I were to become the Kage of any village, it would be Konoha, not Ame."

To his surprise, she simply nodded. "Our current leadership anticipated as much. However…we thought we might as well try. Nothing ventured, nothing gained."

She turned towards him and regarded him with a very guarded smile. "…to be honest, though…my true purpose is to give you…or perhaps, offer you a mission of sorts."

He raised his eyebrow, taking another sip of his cognac, and lighting up a cigarillo. It wasn't exactly uncommon for people to try to hire him for missions…but rarely did villages attempt to offer him work. It was usually private corporations, persons or at some times, organizations of vigilante's, not unlike him. He rarely took them, regardless.

Something about her though…and the fact that she was from Amegakure…served to give him pause. Last he had heard, Ame was in…dire straights. At least some of that was due to his actions…but then again, how much worse could it be under anyone other than Pain?

He puffed out a cloud of brown, savory smoke. "A mission, you say? Normally, I wouldn't give you the time to explain it before refusing…however…" he turned towards her, so that she could see how serious he was. "This time…and this time only, I'll let you speak. Make it worth my time."

She bowed. "I am grateful, Ryuujin-sama. I shall endeavor to fit that requirement."

Raising herself to her 'full height', easily a foot and a half shorter than him, she became all business. "To put it quite simply, Amegakure is in a state of chaos."

Naruto nodded. He knew this. Most people 'in the know' did.

She continued her explanation. "Before Pain…the nukenin 'god' you slew a few years ago…the Kage of Ame was a man named 'Hanzo'. He was extremely powerful…if corrupt. The people of Ame harbored nothing but resentment towards him." She turned back towards the waterfall. "However…one of the reasons for his power, political, I mean…was due to the fact that he was backed by all eight 'noble' families in Amegakure, unconditionally, due to his policy of 'overlooking' what indiscretions the families participated in."

He gave her a guarded look. "That much is common knowledge. But I'd heard that the noble families were killed off after Pain took over…down to the last man woman and child."

She grimaced. "…that is true. For the most part, anyway. Soon after Hanzo died, the noble families sensed that their 'end' had come, and most of them fled to take refuge in other countries under the guise of exile." Her eyes closed, and her voice softened. "…very few actually made it."

Naruto nodded again, taking a puff on his cigarillo. "And after that, your borders were closed off to outsiders almost indefinitely, right?" He exhaled another large plume of aromatic smoke. "…meaning that anyone left would have been trapped."

She nodded matter-of-factly. "Essentially, yes. We became extremely isolated from the rest of the elemental countries, going so far as to stop imports and exports, and only send Nin outside the country when absolutely necessary. This resulted in a very steep depression of our economy, which had an even greater effect on the people."

She was silent for a moment, before continuing in a more neutral tone. "…but I am getting off topic. You said that the noble families were killed off, and I said that such information was mostly true. I say mostly, because…"

The Kunoichi turned towards him with a very serious look. "…some of them managed to make it out of the country. And now…they're back."

Naruto's eyes widened.

She nodded curtly. "I see you understand what that means. These noble families operate under the same 'rules' they operated under before Pain killed Hanzo. Because Amegakure is extremely weakened in its current state, we do not have the power or prestige to bring them under our thumb, or even stop them from doing anything they wish. They have even gone so far as to hire Nin from outside the country to act as their own personal armies to counteract anything we may try that is contrary to their wishes."

He flinched with a grimace. "…in essence…they've made the existence of Amegakure completely meaningless."

She smiled resignedly. "Precisely. The position of 'Kage' within our village is nothing more than a paper tiger…our Nin go nukenin at a staggering rate, and those that don't are often the bottom of the barrel in terms of overall quality of character. The people have lost faith in us, and other countries have even made overtures as if they wish to simply annex us and do away with what was once Ame no Kuni once and for all."

Her smile became a deep frown, coinciding with her soft, sad voice. "In truth…should they try, we could not stop them. Amegakure is a shadow of its former self. We are a broken country, a broken village, and a broken people at the whims of the powerful and rich. The Shinobi of Ame are irrelevant."

Naruto, once again, flinched.

To be meaningless to the people you had protected and served for so long…to be irrelevant to the place you loved…to lose all hope, all dignity, and all sense of pride…

It felt familiar, for some reason.

He threw his almost-done cigarillo over the edge of the balcony, exhaling his last plume of smoke with a sigh. His eyes turned skywards, staring at the full moon, and the fine mist the waterfall kicked up that made it look so eerie, and yet so beautiful simultaneously.

His voice and countenance were conciliatory, but firm. "…to be honest…Kunoichi-san…" He sighed and looked back down. "…I recently killed the Amechisan." He heard her gasp, but continued regardless. "If the majority of your Nin are like those three…then I really can't see how the downfall of Amegakure can be a bad thing. I know you said that the ones currently loyal are…the bottom of the barrel…but…Ame has always had a reputation for producing merciless, ruthless Nin that prey and feed off the weak."

She shook her head, almost violently. "No. That was Hanzo's doing. The way the academy was set up under him didn't change much under Pain…meaning that children were turned into vicious killers by the time they graduated. That's not what it's like now. The Amechisan are…" she sighed. "…were, a relic of that system. That's not the way it's done now."

He raised an eyebrow curiously, but with an undertone of irritation behind it. "Then, how is it done? Who is your Kage? Come to think of it, what's your name?" He took a few steps towards the woman in a slightly threatening manner, and she flinched slightly. She was beginning to get on his nerves a bit. "…if you're asking me to do something so important, then I'll need more information. A lot more information. Right now, all you've served to do is look like some sort of damsel in distress."

Her flinch slowly morphed into a dry, humorless smile. "…damsel in distress. Funny you should say that."

Naruto looked on somewhat confusedly, his previous demeanor forgotten at the sight of her utterly heartbreaking smile.

Heaving a great, resigned sigh, the Kunoichi sat down leaning against the rail…her previous formal demeanor completely forgotten. "If you want information…I'll give it to you. I'll give you any and all information you want. But…" she looked up at him almost apologetically. "You're not going to like it."

He leaned on the top of the rail, flipping out a cigarette and lighting it, trying his best to look neutral. "Try me. We've got time."

She nodded lightly. "As you wish."

Closing her eyes for a moment, she seemed to steel herself and gather her thoughts, before opening them and beginning.

"As I told you already…with the death of Pain, Ame fell into a period of chaos, due to the re-involvement of the previously exiled 'noble families'. What I didn't tell you is who stepped up to fill the power vacuum."

Reaching into her bust, she pulled out a cigarette and lit it. Naruto raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.

"After Pain died…there were a lot of disparate factions that vied to take over the position of Kage for Ame. The war-mongers, the pacifists, those still loyal to the 'old' system under Hanzo…and even those still loyal to Pain. Everyone had a stake in who the next leader would be, and people actively fought, with much bloodshed, over which faction would gain control of the village, and therefore the country."

She exhaled a large plume of smoke. "After a while, though…things began to fall apart. The government had gone too long without a leader, and without anyone to tie everything together…" she shook her head slowly. "…Nin began going missing at a staggering rate…the economy continued its spiraling freefall downwards…crime became commonplace, and without a truly organized force of Shinobi to stop it, the civilians paid the price. Murder, rape, thievery, slavery…anything and everything that could go wrong, did."

Naruto grimaced seriously. For a Shinobi…he was entirely too sensitive to tragedy. "…that's horrible."

She slowly shook her head again. "That's not the worst of it. Not by a long shot."

He said nothing.

After a moment of silence, she took another drag and continued. "It was at the point where things began truly falling apart, that we got someone we thought would be a potential savior of sorts. After almost six months of being 'presumed dead'…Konan returned to the village."

Naruto's ears perked up at hearing the name of the woman he'd spared the life of.

The Kunoichi looked up at the stars, blowing out a cloud of smoke in the process. "But, as our luck would have it…this turned out to be more of a curse than a blessing. Instead of uniting the disparate factions…her reappearance caused the factions to fight that much harder to claim the 'throne' as their own. Even though most of our still-loyal Shinobi agreed that Konan had the rights and claim to become the new Kage, the factions didn't stop fighting for it. And it only got worse as the noble families returned to the country and threw their weight behind whatever faction was most beneficial to them."

He took his own drag, waiting for the 'but'. After a few moments, when it didn't come, he prompted her. "And? What did Konan do about it?"

She smiled that same sad, resigned smile. "Nothing. She was captured within the first month during her return. We haven't heard from her since."

Naruto's glass of cognac froze on its way towards his lips. So that's what she meant about 'damsel in distress'.

Not noticing, or not caring, she continued with a deep, shuddering sigh. "From there, it only got worse. Shinobi from outside the country were brought in, assassinations became a daily occurrence…anyone who didn't know how to fight were either continually victimized, killed, or taken as property and sold into slavery. There were very few places within the country where anyone could go to find sanctuary. There still isn't. Not much of that has changed."

Letting the silence hang for a moment, she put out her cigarette and stood slowly. "…but all of that was just a precursor."

He closed his eyes solemnly. The story kept getting worse. For whatever reason, he was feeling a sliver of guilt worm its way into his psyche…not unlike the guilt he felt the night when he'd learned of Kurenai…and her child…

The Kunoichi leaned on the railing and stared at the waterfall wistfully. For a little while, she just gazed out at the world, her orange-yellow eyes shining in the moonlight.

Wanting to get it over with, she shook her head and cleared whatever thoughts were in it.

"…this is the part you're not going to like."

Looking up, he glanced at her from beneath the cover of his bangs. She managed to look him dead in the eye; even though doing so was extremely hard…those blue depths could pierce one's very being if given the chance.

"…about six months ago, Oto made good on their overtures to 'annex' us…and set up base camps in the north of Ame no Kuni."

His eyes widened and his hand clenched hard enough around his glass of cognac to almost crack it. Quite without prompt, the beginnings of a snarl quirked at the edge of his lips.

She smiled slightly, seeing his surprise and anger. "I thought that might get your attention. Among all the other rumors circling around about you, your hatred of Otogakure seems to be one of the most accurate."

He nodded curtly. Even with Orochimaru and Kabuto dead…even with Sasuke no longer loyal to them…the village hidden in sound was still one of his peeves. His bane, if he were to be perfectly blunt. They still operated cruelly, they still oppressed their people, and the leaders that had taken over in the absence of the snake and his pet were almost as bad, if not worse than the previous.

Bulldozing Oto was definitely on his 'to do' list.

She continued before he had a chance to go postal on something. "At first, when Oto set up their base camp, we thought that they'd been hired by one of the families or factions involved in the fight over the position of Amekage. However, when we got reports on just how many Nin had been sighted, along with the raw amount of war material they brought with them…" she sighed. "It was fairly obvious that it was an unsolicited 'intervention'. In other words, the beginnings of a war."

Naruto, instead of taking a sip of his cognac, downed it all in one gulp, before throwing his glass over the edge of the balcony. The woman had his full and undivided attention now. "A war requires two sides, Kunoichi-san. From what you're telling me, it sounds more like a controlled takeover."

The Kunoichi laughed dryly. "More or less. As you surmise, we didn't have the manpower, or the resources to beat them off…only slow them down. We still don't. For the past six months, they've been slowly, surely encroaching ever further towards the capital." Her previous bitter mirth turned into a cold hatred. "Not even the hired Nin of the noble families or the various factions has been able to stop them…not that they've really tried. To them, as long as they have power in the end, it doesn't matter if they gain it through Ame or Oto."

After a moment, he rubbed the bridge of his nose…and growled. This was starting to make too much sense. He didn't like this. Not at all.

"Are you trying to tell me…that the power vacuum…"

Beside him, the woman nodded gravely and slowly. "Precisely. As of about a week ago, Oto took unofficial control of the entire country, by seizing the capital. There wasn't even a battle. Something like twenty percent of our remaining forces simply surrendered the place, and themselves. Due to the fact that the country is still very much isolated, hardly anyone knows about this."

He didn't quite realize it, but he was clenching the railing hard enough to dent it. His snarl had grown into a full blown growl, his teeth bared. "…idiots…didn't they know that Oto never takes prisoners?"

Her expression drooped even further, her voice becoming deathly soft. "…I think…they did. That's the best indicator of just how hopeless it's become. They'd rather simply die, or be conscripted than continue to fight for a lost cause."

This time, his growl came out as a low rumble that shook anything within a few meters.

Letting the silence hang again for a moment, she turned towards him, becoming serious. For a few moments, she just stared into his eyes, as if trying to convey her feelings via naught but a look.

And then, she bowed formally, as if a vassal…nose to the ground, hands splayed at either side of her head, and back arched. His anger turned quickly into astonishment.

Her voice was pleading and wavering. "Ryuujin-sama…please. Help us. Help me. Amegakure isn't yet unsalvageable…though the people and its soldiers may have lost hope…I believe…" she stuttered for a moment, before shaking her head. "…I believe Ame can still be saved. I believe Oto can be driven out. I believe the people can still be reclaimed." If possible, her bow became lower. "However…to accomplish this…to make my dream a reality…we need a strong leader. Those of us who are left, us few stalwart protectors of Amegakure…we need you. The people need you. The country needs you. No one else is strong enough."

She looked up at him. He was more than surprised to see the beginnings of tears at the edges of her eyes.

"Even if you will not become our Kage…at least…" tears began to freely fall. "At least help us help ourselves! Help us…to reclaim…"

She couldn't finish her sentence, before she broke down completely.

He just stood there, watching the formerly stalwart woman cry, rivulets of tears cascading down her pale, porcelain cheeks. Her eyes were closed…she was heaving, as if under great exertion.

The feeling rising in his chest was…familiar. He'd seen something like this before…someone at the end of their rope, someone without the power to make their situation better…someone who had lost everything, but still held that sliver of hope, that last vestige of pride that allowed them to humbly ask for help.

Someone who didn't really expect to get it…and if they didn't…they'd break. Completely. They'd lose everything, including themselves.

During his training trip…and the war he became involved in thereof…he'd had an entire village ask him to help them. It had gone very much like this had. They'd been victimized, horribly, by the opposing army…and had lost almost all hope for a savior, for a victory.

And then he'd come along.

To this day, from what he heard, the village still held festivals in his honor.

That incident had solidified his new, improved Nindo…to help the weak. To utterly annihilate evil. To make the world a better place, one dead son of a bitch at a time.

He'd gotten too comfortable here. Taira…it was his home. It was his solace, his comfort.

He wasn't meant to be comfortable. Not until he'd succeeded. Men weren't meant to chase after, or find happiness. Jiraiya had drilled such a thing into him.

He couldn't call himself a man if he turned this down. He couldn't live with himself if he turned this down.

No matter how much he wanted to.

It was time to leave. Time to make a difference, again. Hunting nukenin was good…but…there was more to do. The works of a man such as he were never complete.

The image of Tayuya flitted through his mind for just a moment, before he violently forgot it.

Seeing the woman still on the ground, still crying…he softly walked up to her and knelt, capturing her chin in his rather large paw of a hand. He brought her tear-stained face up to meet his own, and looked directly into her desperate, pleading, broken eyes.

He smiled lightly, unguardedly, making the woman's eyes widen and tremble.

"Don't worry anymore, ok? You've convinced me. You've done your job. Now…I'll do mine. Everything…will turn out alright. I promise."

Her tears flowed more earnestly, and she hiccupped.

Naruto laughed lightly and wiped them away with one hand, before standing and extending a hand to the woman. After a moment of shock, she began to straighten, before taking his hand with her far smaller, more delicate one.

Backlit by the moonlight, her on her knees, him standing, connected by the grasp of their hands…the scene became almost surreal.

He smiled lightly again.

"Mission accepted."

The woman's eyes rolled up into the back of her head, before she fainted.

------------------------------------------------

Walking into a ballroom with a woman slung over his shoulder probably wasn't one of his best ideas.

Then again, it's not as if he cared. People could stare all they wanted. Come morning, he'd be a hundred miles away.

Strolling up to his table and plopping down a few ryo to pay for the drinks, he motioned Tayuya to follow him with a twitch of his head. "We've got shit to do. Let's go."

Tayuya blinked…stared…and then scowled, before downing what was left of her brandy. "This had better be damned good. I mean DAMN good."

His face didn't stop being serious. Tayuya's eyes widened.

Whenever she cussed at him, or berated him…he usually got a goofy, half-fake grin on his face and gave as good as he got.

When he didn't react…when his face was set in stone…shit was serious.

HE was serious.

Without another word, she put a hand on his free shoulder. Moments later, they dematerialized.

From within the crowd, four sets of eyes shrouded in the dark disappeared as well.

---------------------------------------------------

I seem to have this propensity for cliffhangers. I'm a horrible person, I guess.

Again...don't like, or like, or whatever, let me know, otherwise, I hope you enjoyed.


	3. Tryptophan con Caffeine

I've had this on my HDD for a while now. Just kinda getting around to posting them. Or more accurately, I touched them up a tad until I was satisfied.

Two things.

Firstly, I enjoy writing this story FAR more than Dichotomy. Dunno what will come of that.

Secondly, I think this story is better by exponents than Dichotomy. Just my opinion.

Expect to see updates of this story more frequently.

Enjoy.

(Messed with the summary. Old one was...meh.)

* * *

As a child, by necessity, he had lived a very minimalist existence, mostly without luxuries, and only with necessities.

When he had become a Shinobi, that hadn't changed very much. In his apartment, he'd only kept his bed, his supplies necessary for being a ninja, and what few bits of clothing he owned. His only luxuries he'd allowed himself were his plants, and the picture of team seven.

During his time as a nukenin, that minimalist approach had been refined even further. Without a definite place to stay, being a wanderer of sorts, he'd only carried a bedroll, food, water, weapons…and again, the picture of team seven.

And while he was a tenant at Tayuya's parlor…he'd maintained that same minimalist attitude. His room was sparse…a bed, his clothing, supplies, a few bonsai trees, and the ever-present picture of team seven, along with a picture of both Tsunade and Jiraiya.

Hence, it was extremely easy for him to simply pack up his things to become a traveler once more. His clothing would go in one scroll, his weaponry in another, his general supplies in a third scroll, and whatever luxury items he wanted to keep…namely the pictures…would go in a fourth, and final scroll.

With the woman slung over his shoulder, and Tayuya at his side, he'd arrived at the parlor no more than ten minutes ago. Without explanation, he'd handed the Kunoichi to Tayuya, and promptly made haste to his room.

Within five minutes, he'd had his entire life packed within his sealing scrolls. Within another two, he'd changed from his formal attire, into what Tayuya called his 'heavies'.

It was a rather simple ensemble. Regular ninja sandals, black loose fit pants with orange stripes down the sides, a form-fitting navy blue tank-top with a standard Konoha Jounin vest above it, unzipped…matte grey hand and forearm bracers, as well as a brown leather dual bandolier and utility belt combination that held most of his weapons and tools that didn't fit in the vest pockets. Tsunade's necklace hung freely from his neck, as always.

Usually, this was what he wore when he was going into battle. Assassinations of nukenin were easy, day to day affairs. Battles…missions…this outfit was the perfect blend of utility, minimalism and just a tad of 'cool'.

This time, though…he would add one more piece to it.

Reaching into the back of his closet, and into a hidden compartment, he pulled out the one reminder of his old life…the one thing that kept him tied to Konoha, and his friends.

Naruto's unchanged, scuffed up forehead protector, bearing the unblemished spiral leaf symbol of Konoha.

For just a moment, he looked at it fondly.

In the next, he cut a small line, lengthwise, across the symbol, and then tied it around his neck loosely, letting it hang about three inches out from his Adam's apple, past the threshold of his chin.

Nodding to himself, he picked up his backpack, holding four scrolls and a strongbox full of Ryo and bank papers, and walked out the door of his room, shutting off the light and closing the door for the last time.

It was the next chapter of his life. By the time his work was completed, Oto would be a bad memory of the past…and Amegakure would be well on its own road to recovery. He promised that to himself.

And then…maybe…just maybe…he could find peace and solace.

He smiled and shook his head as he walked up the stairs.

Nah.

That was too boring.

* * *

Tayuya hadn't thought about it more than a few seconds, which surprised her…but at the same time, made quite a bit of sense.

It was quite obvious Naruto was going somewhere for an extended period of time. The last time he'd been this gung-ho to do something, he'd run off to Yuki no Kuni for about a month, helping Yuki-hime, the reigning ruler of the country, with some crisis or another. He'd also been much the same way before he left to kill Pain, and the same with Zetsu as well.

When he was focused, when he was hurrying, when he was completely and totally driven to complete something…those around him could feel it. It was this almost palpable aura of command, of urgency, of calm, collected intensity that oozed out of him like water from a sieve.

Obviously, whatever this unconscious Kunoichi had told him, had spurred him into action. The fact she was unconscious, and had subtle, but visible tear tracks running down her cheeks, must have meant it was an emotional speech of some kind…and probably had something to do with her country being under tyrannical rule, or her family captured by bad guys or…some such sob story.

She was all but immune to tragedy, having seen, experienced…and caused her fair share. But Naruto…

Well, he'd gone through quite a bit as well. The difference between them, was that he went out of his way to both _not_ cause tragedy, and correct it as best he could when he came across it, using whatever methods available or necessary. It wasn't exactly a 'ends justify the means' attitude…but more along the lines of an attitude that ascribed to the theory that one had to commit a small amount of evil, in order to thwart, destroy and kill evil.

Such as capturing an enemy and torturing them for information…or wiping out an enemy encampment down to the last man…or killing off an entire royal family because they were evil down to even the children.

It wasn't so much the methods, as much as the targets, which made the monster. Torturing a killer or rapist was one thing. Torturing an innocent was quite another.

Naruto wasn't a monster. He was…he was…

She frowned.

She still had no fucking idea what he was.

All she knew…was that, to her, he was –

"Tayuya-sama…we've finished packing your belongings for your trip."

Broken from her musings, she looked up to see one of her girls…one of the younger ones, not involved in the 'trade', so to speak, looking at her with a blank expression. Way too blank, actually. Forced blankage. As if she was trying to hide something.

She tapped the ash from her pipe and nodded, standing in the process and walking around the table. In a swift motion, she'd knelt in front of the girl…one of the orphans she'd taken in, if she remembered right…and enveloped her in a hug.

It was fairly obvious what the girl was trying to hide.

She rubbed the girl's back soothingly. "It's alright. I'm only going to be gone for a few months…I think. You and the rest of the girls have to be strong, ok?"

The girl in her hug started crying softly. "…bu…but Tayuya-sama…what will we do without you? I mean, Suzu-san is strong…and smart…but…you're twice the man he'll ever be!"

She tried really hard not to laugh. Honestly. She at least managed to hold it to a few snickers.

Pulling out of the hug, she wiped away the girl's tears. "I know. But he's more than capable to run this place in my absence. Be strong for him too. Lord knows he'll need it."

The girl, probably no more than twelve, wiped her eyes and nodded. Tayuya patted her on the head affectionately, before turning her around and gently dismissing her with a ruffle of her hair.

Once she was out of the room, Tayuya sighed.

She had no idea why she was doing this…she had no reason to go with him. The decision had been easy, and quick. Following through with it was proving to be…hard.

Suzu-san, her accountant, bouncer, confidant and drinking partner, when Naruto wasn't available, at least…was a good Shinobi. He was easily A-class, and had a master's grasp of Genjutsu.

The problem was that he was as queer as a two ryo bill, and more womanly than she would ever be. He abhorred fighting, as it meant he had to get dirty, and he hated having to protect anything, because _he_ wanted to be the damsel in distress.

It didn't help that almost every male that came into the bar mistook him for a woman. He was just that pretty. Hell, even Naruto, when he was sufficiently drunk, made passes on the man…which of course, didn't much help matters, considering Suzu had a crush the size of Tsuchi no Kuni on the blonde.

But when push came to shove, she knew she could count on him. If one of her girls was in trouble, he'd step in and 'take care of it' in an instant…going from a thin, delicate, beautiful bishounen, to a trained, hardened killer in the blink of an eye. He'd been trained in Oto, same as her…and just like her, he had a cursed-seal mark on his neck. His Genjutsu could make a man's mind break in a wonderful fashion, and his skill with the two hidden ninja-to in his sleeves was almost legendary.

This all meant that she had nothing to worry about, really, during her time spent with Naruto. Her establishment would be taken care of, her girls protected, and her assets would be un-fucked with.

The only real problem, was –

A strong, firm, deep voice from behind her. "…if you think you're going with me…you're very mistaken."

She sighed.

The problem, was Naruto. Overprotective, always-concerned Naruto.

Turning around, she put her hands on her hips and glared at him, only somewhat nonplussed to see him in his heavies. "Contrary to your fucking hero-logic, I'm a Shinobi, Naruto. I haven't had a good outing for…" she made a 'face'. "…damn near three years now. I'm going. I don't know what the fuck's going on, but if you're going, then it's big…important and shit." She threw up her hands in exasperation. "I'm not some damned frail, delicate little flower."

Quite unexpectedly, she felt an extremely firm hand on her shoulder, squeezing tightly. After a moment, he spoke, with that same extremely serious, hard face of his.

"…you're not a delicate little flower. You're a Shinobi. I know that." he squeezed tighter. "…but where I'm going, you could…and probably would, be in a lot of danger."

She snarled and grabbed his arm by the wrist, attempting…and failing…to pry it off her. It was like it was bolted onto her shoulder or something. Scowling harder, she settled for digging her nails into his skin.

"Then tell me where the fuck you're going, and I'll tell you if it's too much for me!" Her nails bit into his skin, drawing the smallest amount of blood. "I'm sick and fucking tired of you underestimating me!"

Naruto's face didn't change. "Then get out of my grasp. If you can take my hand off your shoulder, I will allow you to come. If not…" his eyes narrowed. "You stay here, where people need you."

Tayuya grit her teeth so hard she thought she might break a molar.

He knew damned well she couldn't pry his hand off. He knew damned well that he was stronger than her, far stronger. If he wanted to, he could kill her without even making an effort. If he wanted to, he could kill the entire population of Taira in the space of a few minutes. He was a god among Shinobi. No one that knew him thought he was anything less than the most skilled ninja in the entirety of the elemental nations.

Break out of his grasp? Impossible. Absolutely impossible.

Didn't mean she wasn't stubborn enough to try.

Noting that the skin on his arm had already healed over her fingernails, she viciously ripped her nails out of his flesh, tearing a few inches of skin off in the process. He didn't so much as flinch, and by the time she had her hands in a seal, half of the strip of skin she'd ripped off was already healed.

Focusing, she tore open her first seal.

She couldn't use chakra anymore…at least, not hers.

The seals on her body were designed to mimic the eight-gates opening process, but not with her own chakra. Rather each seal contained about twenty minutes of chakra…Naruto's chakra…at moderate use. Or, enough chakra for maybe two high level Jutsu each. When one ran out, she ripped open the second, and the third, and so forth. Each one contained progressively more chakra, up to the last seal, which contained two full 'tails' worth of Kyuubi's chakra.

And if she opened that one, she would die. Or at the very least…be severely hurt.

She wasn't planning on going that far. She'd only need one seal…maybe two.

Just as she was ready to unleash her first Jutsu…his hand left her shoulder.

Somewhat stunned, she stopped her flow of chakra, closing the first seal after having only expended about an eighth of it.

Looking up, she saw Naruto looking at her with a sad smile.

She scowled, but it lacked any of her usual fire. "…what the fuck are you smiling about, asshole?"

He had the gall to laugh, while shaking his head. Reaching into one of his bandolier slots, Naruto pulled out a cigarette and lit it quickly, before hoisting his backpack higher onto his back. For a moment, he just stood there, looking at her, smoking his death stick.

His eyes gained a slight edge. "…you want to come with me that badly?"

She turned around abruptly and crossed her arms…principally, so he couldn't see her small smile.

"I'm just going to have some fun, that's all."

Silence.

After a minute of awkward, pregnant silence, she heard him chuckle lightly, before hearing footfalls towards the door. Turning around, she saw him at the door, half out, and half in.

He raised an eyebrow. "…are you coming or not?"

Walking to the doorway, she leaned into his face.

And promptly slammed the door on it.

"Dumbass! I need to change my clothes, get my stuff together, set things up and that Kunoichi of yours needs to wake up! Don't be so fucking dramatic!"

From the other side of the door, he rubbed his nose and smiled.

* * *

Headaches stemmed from one of many things.

Increased blood pressure was one. Sinusoid pressure was another. Blunt trauma could cause headaches rather readily, as could neck strain and eyestrain.

All in all, there were a plethora of causes for headaches.

Listening to a Kunoichi spill her tale to you while sobbing was definitely a cause.

Tsunade rubbed her temples, noticing that the dull blonde Kunoichi had stopped crying…at least, stopped sobbing uncontrollably. "…are you done?

The Kunoichi nodded pitifully. She sighed.

The woman had come in not a day before, claiming to be a Kunoichi of Amegakure, and asking for an audience with the Hokage as soon as possible. After seeing that she got a full medical workup for her wounds, accompanied by a subtle 'talking to' from Ibiki, she had been given a room, a bed, and told to sleep. She'd complied with gusto.

First thing this morning, she'd all but busted her way into her office, pleading with her to 'hear her out'. Tsunade, barely awake at the time, had just groaned…which her secretary had taken as a cue to let the woman in.

She made a note to fire her secretary.

Regardless…her story had been heartbreaking. Their country, their village, and their people were suffering under the oppressive aims of both Oto, and these 'noble families' she kept referring to. All in all, Ame was definitely in a state of barely controlled anarchy.

But…she really couldn't see how they could help. Without a village there, any help she could send could be construed as an invading force. What's worse, now that their capital was under control of Sound, Ame was technically under their sovereignty. Of course, it's not like Konoha recognized Oto's sovereignty in the first place, but it would still provoke undue conflict. Regardless of the fact that Konoha and Oto were enemies, Konoha didn't have the resources to wage war at the moment. Most of her most skilled Shinobi were on assignments, or on sick leave, or injured leave, or…any number of things that precluded them from going anywhere or doing anything. Hell, Jiraiya was off somewhere, gallivanting and probably peeking on women. Getting in touch with him would be an act of Kami.

Sighing again, she gave the Kunoichi the most comforting smile she could under the circumstances. "I…empathize with you. Honestly I do. Be that as it may, Konoha at the moment has neither the resources nor the impetus to go to war, even over something like this. If you want, I can give you whatever information I have on Oto, and I can refer you to Suna, assuming they aren't in the same situation we are…but aside from that…"

Her smile turned into a much sadder one. "…I'm sorry. Really, I am."

The Kunoichi shook her head. "It's alright. I'm not looking for a miracle." Her head rose slightly. "I'm not even really looking for Konoha to wage war on our behalf. In truth, I came here under the assumption that we wouldn't be able to get an army. Rather, I'm asking for a few skilled Shinobi, versed in strategy, tactics, and with knowledge of war under their belt already." She smiled slightly. "…to be honest, we already have the 'muscle' lined up. Or at least, I hope we do. What I'm looking for here is simply a few of your best."

Tsunade perked up slightly. "You already have another village that's willing to help you? As in, provide you with the manpower necessary to wage war?" One of her perfectly sculpted eyebrows rose. "Excuse me for asking…but might I ask which village has agreed to this?"

The Kunoichi shook her head imperceptibly. "I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to say, Tsunade-sama. However, I can say that it's not a village, so much as…well, it's not a village, anyway."

Tsunade's other eyebrow rose. "…I see. Well, I suppose that's your prerogative. Regardless, if you're asking for some of our 'best'…well, I can't just give them away." She clasped her hands in front of her. "I'd need compensation. Either monetary or otherwise. Without it, I cannot justify putting some of my best Shinobi in harms way."

The woman smiled, genuinely, for the first time that she'd seen. "I understand completely. By proxy of Amegakure, and our interim leader, I'm authorized to extend an unconditional alliance treaty towards Konoha, in the event that Ame is restored to its previous state. This includes, but is not limited to; export rights, import rights, tariff exemptions, mutual defense treaties, intelligence sharing, Shinobi and Jutsu exchange…as well as anything else you might want or need of us if and when we are rebuilt as we once were."

The Hokage's expression changed to one of barely veiled astonishment. "You're willing…to go that far to gain our aid?"

The woman nodded without hesitation. "We are desperate, Tsunade-sama. Far more desperate than you may realize. Even if Ame is to become nothing more than a puppet state under Konoha…as long as we have our sovereignty, freedom, peace and our people's safety…" she lowered her head in a sign of respect. "…we're willing to do whatever it takes."

For a moment, Tsunade just stared at the Kunoichi in front of her.

"Shizune."

In less than an instant, the woman had appeared at her side, pig on her head. It would have been comical if the situation had been any less serious.

"Yes, Tsunade-sama?"

She grabbed a few papers off the side of her desk. "I need you go summon some Shinobi for me. I know one is currently on injured leave…but he'll be with a healer, so it shouldn't be a problem."

Shizune bowed curtly towards her. "Which Shinobi, then?"

She looked Shizune in her eyes. "Get me Team Seven, Eight, Nine, and Ten. Also, assuming they're not unavailable, get Anko and Ibiki as well."

Her first apprentice looked at her in astonishment. "…are…are you sure? Those are some of our most skilled Nin…"

Tsunade nodded. "That's precisely why I chose them. Now go. Time is…of the essence, I think."

With only a moment's hesitation, Shizune bowed and performed Shunshin to go find those who she was supposed to.

Looking back at the Kunoichi, who was currently tearing up, and beaming at her, she smirked and reached into her secret sake drawer. Casually, she poured them both a saucer.

"So, about this 'muscle' of yours…does he still wear that necklace I gave him?"

* * *

"_You know, Naruto…this is the one place I never expected to find you."_

_Naruto looked over at his former master, apathy and relaxedness written on his face. "…why? I mean, Shinobi go to war all the time, right?" He went back to staring at the sky, a brilliant hue of blue with fluffy clouds floating amongst the birds. "I'm just another mercenary."_

_Jiraiya huffed and sat down, crossing his legs and propping his head up on one palm. "You'll never be 'just another mercenary'. Whichever side a Jinchuuriki sides with in a war, is the side that invariably wins."_

"_Just be glad I chose the right side then." He smirked a bit. "Besides, I haven't had to use Kyuubi even once yet. I can thank you, at least somewhat, for that."_

_The old man huffed again, but chose to say nothing. He simply let the mostly companionable silence hang in the air._

_It was Naruto that broke it. "You know…I might not come back, right?"_

_Jiraiya closed his eyes. "…I know."_

_Naruto raised an eyebrow. "…and the old woman is ok with this?"_

_He huffed again. "If by 'ok' you mean stark raving mad and nearly grey from stress, then yes, she's fine with it."_

_Naruto had the good grace to wince. "That bad, eh?"_

"_Yeah." Jiraiya laid back on the grass. "That bad."_

"_Shit. I mean, I don't want to hurt her, or any of my other friends, you know? That was never my intention." He gestured lazily with his hand in the air. "I just wanted…you know…to take the leash off for a bit. Go for a run, feel my oats…all that clichéd bullshit. I mean, it's not like she throws a fucking tantrum whenever you leave and don't come back for a few years."_

_Jiraiya had the gall to laugh. "Yeah, but I'm not you, Naruto. Tsunade sees you as a little brother, or something like it. I mean, what if the positions were reversed? What if you were Hokage, and it was Konohamaru that had just up and left, eh?"_

"…_that's different, and you know it."_

"_What, because you're a Jinchuuriki?"_

_Naruto frowned. "…yeah. Being a Jinchuuriki changes everything. I shift the paradigm for any situation I'm in." He looked over at his mentor. "…for example, I didn't leave because I was forced to. I left because I was a danger to others." His eyes gained a harder edge. "…a man, a _father_ died for me, Jiraiya. I deprived another kid of his father, created another potential orphan…" His fists clenched. "That kid will grow up without a father, without ever knowing his father, because of me. That makes me no better than Kyuubi –"_

_Quite without warning, he found himself pinned to a nearby tree, held by the scruff of his shirt, with a growling mad Jiraiya inches away from his face._

"_Don't you ever say that again."_

_Naruto, trying to show he was unfazed, merely scowled. "What? That I'm no better than –"_

_A punch to his gut. "Kyuubi killed hundreds. He killed entire families. Men, women, children, good Shinobi, he killed them all." The grip on his shirt got tighter. "And you want to compare yourself to something like that?" Jiraiya picked him up higher by his shirt and threw him to the side._

_For a few moments, there was silence, broken only by Naruto spitting out a bit of dirt._

"_They all died for you, Naruto. They died for the village. They died for a cause, and you spit on that by calling yourself no better than the beast you're considered a hero for jailing. Do you want to make your father's sacrifice meaningless?" Jiraiya was yelling now. "Do you? Are you such a child that you're going to spit on the grave of someone who saved you, just because you feel sorry for yourself?"_

_Naruto picked himself up slowly, eyes shadowed by his hair. In the clearing, the wind had stopped…the birds had fled. All that could be heard was Jiraiya's angered breathing._

_For minutes, both Shinobi simply stood their ground._

_Naruto put his hands in his pockets and began walking away. "Tell the old woman I'm alright. Tell all my friends something that'll make them stop worrying."_

_Jiraiya scowled. "Oh? And just what am I supposed to tell them, eh?"_

_Naruto put his hand up in a farewell wave. "…you'll think of something."_

_As a parting shot, Jiraiya sighed. "And what are you going to do then?"_

_The blonde haired young man stopped, head pointed up at the sky, as if looking at the sun._

_He turned his head back towards Jiraiya, tear tracks staining his cheeks, but a bright smile on his mouth. "I'm gonna grow up and show those fuckers that had the gall to die for me that I can take care of myself."_

"_Thanks, Ero-Sennin."_

_With a wisp of smoke, he disappeared._

* * *

His eyes slowly pried themselves open.

That dream…the true turning point of his maturity. He would never forget that feeling in his gut.

Grunting, he sat up. It had been around a half hour, judging by the moon…Tayuya had to be ready by now. He was still anxious to leave as soon as possible. The more time wasted here, was more time that the country had to suffer.

"Your burden is a tad more than one person should have to bear, you know."

Tayuya, bathed in the moonlight, stood next to him on the roof, leaned against the chimney. A half-burned long-pipe rested in her mouth, just below two concerned eyes.

Which was rare, for her.

He sighed. "If I don't bear it, who will?"

"Someone. Anyone." She kicked off from the chimney and stared at him. "Anyone but you. It doesn't matter who. You've got a right to be selfish, Naruto."

"I also have a right to be as stubborn as a mule." He smiled wryly. "We've had this conversation before, haven't we, Yugito?"

The woman sighed into the puff of smoke her Henge gave off when it dissipated. "…you know, just once, I'd like to fool you. Damn that sixth sense of yours."

Naruto grunted as he sat up. "Not going to happen, I'm afraid. Once I've met a person and gotten a good idea of who they are…fooling me with a Henge becomes just another impossibility."

"…in a long line of impossibilities, it seems." Yugito snorted. "Oi, you three…get out here. The dog sniffed us out."

In a blur, three shapes appeared next to Yugito, obscured partially by shadow, but illuminated enough by the moonlight to make out.

Naruto's eyes widened. "…you two…what are you doing here?"

Stepping forward, in a white desert robe, Kankurou smirked. "Long story…I guess that confirms that your Kunoichi didn't tell you everything, if you didn't know we were coming."

Beside him, a female form dressed in black, much like her brother, sighed. "What a huge pain in the ass." She stepped forward, a smile belying her undertone of irritation. "Though, it's good to see you again."

Naruto stood and smiled broadly. "Likewise…it's been a few years, hasn't it? Man, we probably have a lot to catch up on." His eyes went to the fourth member of the intrepid group, whom he did not recognize. "…who's she?"

Temari patted the pre-teen Kunoichi's head affectionately, causing the girls snow-white hair to bounce slightly. "This here is Usagi. Sister to the Kunoichi you got passed out down in your room."

"Sister?" His eyes narrowed, but without any malice or irritation. "…right, I'm confused as hell. Let's go inside, we can sort this out with Tayuya awake."

Getting a nod from all present, he casually made his way to the hole in the roof, lovingly referred to as the 'Naruto hole'…the hole from which he gained egress and ingress to the house proper. The procession from Suna followed diligently, followed by the former Nibi Jinchuuriki.

Gesturing to a few cushy chairs in the room, he made his way to a pitcher of water and poured a few glasses. "So, I take it you four have been spying on me all night, right?"

Yugito sat down in a chair with her purple robes surrounding her like a blanket and raised an eyebrow. "Something like that. More to the point, we've been trying to make sure that what Usagi-chan here said was accurate."

Naruto put the glasses of water on a coffee table in the middle of the chairs. "And?" He sat down in the last recliner left, his 'personal' chair as it were. "What exactly did Usagi-chan tell you that our Kunoichi didn't tell us?"

"You didn't tell me we were going to have fucking guests."

"Don't look at me!" Naruto turned his head slightly to regard an only slightly disheveled Tayuya followed by a very reserved and wide-eyed Kunoichi. "I didn't know we were going to have guests either…" He grinned. "Can't really say I mind though."

Tayuya sat down on the armrest of Naruto's chair, using Naruto's body as a recliner. The Kunoichi hesitantly sat down in a formal position on the floor, casting concerned glances at the preteen white haired Kunoichi that was supposed to be her sister.

"…you're a fucking socialite, you know that?" Tayuya sighed. "Whatever. I take it this all has something to do with the fiasco you got yourself involved in?"

Temari, legs crossed with her robe hiked up a tad, leaned her head on her hand. "Yeah. It seems you guys don't know exactly what's going on…but Usagi-chan here…" She patted the girls head affectionately again. "…was a tad more forthcoming. She's a bit young to have anti-interrogation training."

It was Naruto's turn to raise an eyebrow. "You interrogated her?"

Kankurou, to Temari's left, laughed slightly. "Nothing like you might think. Gaara just kinda stared at her for about two minutes, and she spilled the whole story. Fucking creepy, but if it works…"

Naruto smiled wryly. "Fair enough…but that doesn't quite explain why Yugito is here." He reached into his bandolier and took out a cigarette, lighting it and then scratching his chest absently. "In fact, I don't even have an explanation for why _any_ of you are here…and hell…" He looked over at the black haired Kunoichi who had her head down. "I didn't even get this chick's name yet. The one she used at the party is probably a fake…right?"

The Kunoichi nodded demurely. "It's a name I use for escort missions. My real name is…" she paused for a moment, before looking away slightly. "…Kururugi Rena.

Both his eyebrows rose this time. "…you're shittin' me, right?"

The girl shook her head.

"Wow. Well, that changes things a bit, don't it?" Naruto blew out a plume of smoke, shaking his head in exasperation. "I take it your family has disowned you for going against them?"

"Not…disowned. More like, disavowed." Rena sighed almost exhaustedly, raising a hand and resting it on top of Usagi's head, a comforting gesture for both parties. "It's complicated. I can explain it when it's more prudent to do so."

He stared at the girl for a moment before waving dismissively. "Well, whatever. We'll get to it when we get to it. For now, there are far more pressing issues to deal with." He yawned. "Mind explaining what it was you didn't tell me?"

The girl looked to the side, before sighing resignedly. "I suppose it doesn't quite matter now, does it?" Her eyes closed. "Basically, Ryuujin-sama…you are not the only person we have petitioned for assistance."

Naruto perked up slightly.

Rena continued. "At the beginning of all of this…we knew we were taking shots in the dark. We had no idea who would help us, if any of the major powers would lend us assistance, or even if you would accept our plea. As such, we decided on a quantity over quality policy, deciding to appeal to everyone for help individually, rather than a few simultaneously." She paused for a moment, before smiling slightly and running her fingers through her hair.

"Five different Kunoichi were chosen to contact five different powers for assistance. I, being the most senior of those still remaining, was the logical choice to contact you, while Usagi, a new recruit, was the one chosen to contact arguably the smallest of the five great villages."

Naruto closed his eyes and leaned his head back in the recliner. He knew what was coming…but he still wanted to hear it out of her mouth.

The girl, seeing this, sighed and looked downcast. "…the other three powers we contacted were powers we believed to have some amount of empathy at their highest tiers. Yuki no Kuni, with princess Yuki at the top, arguably one of the more sympathetic rulers in the elemental countries. The country of Waves, one of the richest and most philanthropic countries in this era. And…" she closed her eyes. "…Konoha. The greatest Shinobi power in the world, and the only one with a female Kage."

Tayuya snarled, before Naruto could react. "What the fuck? I don't know what's going on, but you come to Naruto asking for help, only to tell him that he's going to have to team up with people from the village he's estranged from?" She stalked over to the girl and grabbed her by the scruff of her shirt, lifting her up to eye level. "Who the fuck do you think you are, eh? Just what god given power do you think you're from, that you think you can ask Naruto this kind of thing?"

"Tayuya."

Said redhead looked back at Naruto, snarl still firmly etched into her features. "No, no sympathetic bullshit this time. You're not going to stand up for yourself, so god damn it, I will!"

He leveled a very calm, collected stare on his partner. "This isn't a matter of standing up for myself. It's simply an inevitability. I figured something like this would happen at some point."

Yugito, across the room, sighed with her head in her hand. "Give it a rest, Tayuya. Naruto's a big boy, he can handle these things himself."

Tayuya turned her snarl onto the cat-like woman. "Fuck you, bitch! Don't –"

"Tayuya!" She froze. Naruto took a puff on his cigarette. "Stop it. Now."

She turned to look at him again, an almost hurt expression on her face. "Naruto…but…"

He stood, grunting like an old man. "I've accepted the mission. I promised already. It doesn't matter who I'm working with, or what else is going on…what's done is done, y'know?" He walked towards the window looking out at the night sky. "…this had to happen eventually…and at least this time, I don't mind."

Rena, in the slightly loosened grip of Tayuya, turned an astonished face towards her savior. "…you don't mind?"

Naruto was silent for a moment, before chuckling. "Nah. It might be fun to see them again. Besides, I understand, at least, why you didn't tell me." He sighed, his posture crumpling. "…still. This…complicates matters considerably."

Temari took a gulp of water. "Not really. From what Usagi told us, none of the other powers were informed who else they would be working with, making it a double-blind operation. Konoha, ostensibly, doesn't know that you're part of the mission. Meaning, of course, that once they're committed, they don't have much of a choice in the matter _but_ to work with you. Nukenin or otherwise."

Kankurou nodded. "Besides the fact that you've got good relations with both Princess Yuki _and_ the country of Waves. Even if Konoha decided to back out once they knew you were part of this, we'd still have more than enough manpower to do what we have to do. They're really the only wild card in the equation."

Naruto shook his head. "No…Tsunade will figure it out." Everyone's eyes widened. "For all that she is, she's not stupid, or naïve. She's been in the Shinobi business too long not to see through this sort of thing." He cocked his head to the side, with a smirk on his face, looking at the corner of the room. "…right, you perverted old fuck?"

Everyone looked where Naruto was looking.

Only to see a shimmer, and a Genjutsu dispelling.

"I'd swear you had the Sharingan or something."

Naruto chuckled and scratched his chest. "It's the smell, not the sight. Sake and women leave a mark, y'know?"

Jiraiya, clothed in what he usually was, scratched the back of his head. "That they do…not that I'm complaining."

"Of course you wouldn't." Naruto sighed and sat on the edge of Tayuya's desk, disregarding everyone else's shock. "Whatever. Did Tsunade send you, or have you just had one of the frogs watching me all this time?"

"Neither." Jiraiya got a little serious, sitting down on the floor cross-legged. "This is pure coincidence. I was actually coming to check up on you…" he sighed. "But of course, it figures you're involved in something like this."

"Doesn't it just?" Naruto wore a smirk of his own, before yawning. "That's beside the point though." He looked over at the stunned audience, some recognizing the old man in the corner, and others simply recognizing the power the man held. "We need to get moving. It's almost getting bright outside. We can meet the rest of them in Ame no Kuni, I'm guessing?"

Rena, now loose from Tayuya's grip, took a second to react…before shaking her head. "No…that's another thing I didn't tell you." She repositioned herself on her knees in a formal position again. "The meeting point is in wave country. That is our first destination."

Naruto perked. "Really?" He smiled slightly. "Man, that should be fun. Right…" he stood and paced over to where his backpack had been laid down, before shouldering it. "Everyone, you've got about fifteen minutes before we head out. Rena, explain the situation to Tayuya in that time." He began to walk over to the door. "I'll be outside having a chat with Jiraiya-sensei."

Hearing the old man's name, Rena's eyes became the size of saucers. "Ji…Jiraiya? _The_ Jiraiya of the Sannin? One of the legendary three?"

Jiraiya blushed, a perverted look etched on his 'wizened' features. "Yes, I am _that_ Jiraiya! The Jiraiya that can cease the crying of children, the Jiraiya that women fall for again and again –"

Naruto pulled on his ear. "If he keeps talking, we'll be here all god damned day." He opened the door and almost literally pulled Jiraiya along with him. "Fifteen minutes…be ready by then."

Everyone nodded, standing.

Save for Tayuya, whose eyebrow was twitching violently.

"Fucking visitors."

* * *

"So? What're you really here for, then, Ero-sensei?"

Jiraiya leaned up against the side of the building, arms crossed and a serious look adorning his usually jovial features. "Like you said. Tsunade isn't stupid. When the appointed messenger from rain contacted us, it was really a given that they had contacted you as well." He scowled. "Tsunade went and used Sarutobi-sensei's crystal ball to find me, to find you. According to her, I needed to 'warn' you that Konoha Shinobi were coming…but I think she's just using it as an excuse to check up on you."

Naruto laughed lightly. "That certainly sounds like her." He leaned up against the side of the building as well, absently scratching his chest. "Regardless…just how is this going to work? I mean, if they just work with me without any sort of confrontation…"

The older man nodded. "It would send a message that we're weak when it comes to reigning in our nukenin…and it would send a message to our nukenin that their sins can be forgiven. Obviously, neither is an option."

"Hm…so? Tsunade's going to reinstate me for the duration, or…?" Naruto yawned. "Again, how is this going to work?"

Kicking off the side of the building, Jiraiya shrugged. "To be honest, neither of us could come up with a solution aside from simply rescinding your status as a nukenin. Mind you, I don't think we tried too hard to think up anything aside from that." He looked over at Naruto, whose face was a careful blank. "…people are really starting to miss you at home, Naruto."

Naruto allowed one of his rare scowls to come to his face. "I know they do. Every frog you've been sending every month has been telling me the same thing." Naruto rubbed his head frustratedly. "…damn it…this freedom is addicting, sensei. How can you go back when you know you'll feel like a trapped rat? How can I go back when I'll think of this freedom every day, and yearn for it?" He kicked off the wall violently. "I cherish those precious to me, Ero-sensei. I'd go to any lengths to protect them, and to be there for them…but I still can't give up this freedom!"

Jiraiya was silent for a moment. "…Naruto…the day you became a Shinobi, was the day you gave up that freedom. That's the way the world works. That's the way the Shinobi way of life works. Freedom, especially to a Shinobi, is like a barbiturate…it never lasts. It's not meant to last. That's your burden, Naruto, as a Shinobi, as a man, and as the future Hokage."

"Have you ever known me to accept something I didn't like without trying to change it first?" Naruto shook his head and looked skyward in exasperation, seeming to contemplate his position in the cosmos for a moment. "…in this time, Jiraiya…away from Konoha, away from my precious people…I've grown up. I've been forced to examine myself, to examine my beliefs, and to hone both myself and my mind, lest I become stagnant and ineffectual. It is freedom that has allowed me to suffer, allowed me to blossom…"

He turned, staring at the moon absently. For a moment, all was silent.

"…I cannot be a slave. I will not be a slave. More than that…" he chuckled, which turned into a good hearted laugh. "…I will change any system that asks of me to become one. You have my word on that."

Jiraiya simply stared at his once student, a contemplative, if stern look on his face.

Which blossomed into a small, warm smile.

"Well, not much I can do, now that you've given your word." He cracked his neck, yawning. "I'll report back to the old woman…and we'll figure something out. She may not like it…but that's her problem."

Naruto smiled gratefully. "Thanks, sensei."

Jiraiya waved his hand dismissively. "Bah, you only call me sensei when I'm doing something for you, damn it." He turned a wry smile towards his apprentice. "…besides that though…I don't think I have the right to be called sensei by you anymore. Taijutsu, Ninjutsu, Genjutsu, Fuuinjutsu…even women…you've surpassed me, Naruto."

It was rare, but there were times, very few in number, where Naruto would honestly drop his walls, drop his concentration and even his situational awareness, because of some kind of shock.

Hearing his sensei, a man like a grandfather to him, tell him that he'd surpassed him…was perhaps the greatest shock of his life.

Naruto's mouth slowly twisted into a giddy grin, as Naruto calmly walked up to Jiraiya and gave him a familial, manly hug.

"…thanks, Jiraiya."

The toad sage patted his former apprentice's back, releasing the hug after a second or so. "You've earned it. I'm proud to have trained you, Naruto."

Naruto's smile widened.

"Oi, fruitcake! We're all ready up here!"

His smile died.

Turning around, he scowled up at the window Yugito was hanging out of. "I'll be there in a minute, damned woman!"

Said 'damned woman' gave him the finger before disappearing back into the room.

"That chick is a menace. Great lay, but –" Naruto turned back around.

Jiraiya wasn't there anymore.

He sighed after a moment, lighting up one last cigarette for the road and leaning up against the brick of Tayuya's parlor.

Looking at the moon again, he tapped off a few ashes. The full moon, as bright and unchangeable as it had ever been, stared back.

"…only the dead, eh?" He chuckled into the night, dropping his cigarette butt and walking towards the door.

"…time to go play soldier again."

* * *

It was strange, he had decided, to carry a small girl on your shoulders, piggyback style, while ninja-hopping through trees.

Chiefly because she hadn't stopped screaming, giggling and kicking much like a child her age was expected to do. It wasn't as if he minded…it was actually kind of endearing, cute, even…but it was still weird, because he remembered the few times when he'd done the same thing with Iruka. To have the positions reversed…he felt old, damn it.

"Naruto-niichan…faster!"

Despite himself, he chuckled.

The girl's wide smile and unrestrained laugh made a part of him feel…pretty good. He couldn't deny that.

God it was weird.

They'd set out for wave country not an hour ago, making good time in the process. Taira wasn't actually that far from the border to the country, but the city they were heading to…chiefly, the one he'd helped to save, was still a bit further. More than that, they were a tad slowed down by Tayuya, whose tree-hopping skills were sub-par due to her inability to use chakra.

Despite the relative ease of the situation though, he was tense. Various things played through his head, scenarios of battle, strategies he'd learned, how to establish a vanguard, how to take a city without harming the innocent populace…

War wasn't something you forgot. Especially in his case.

Regardless of everything though, Naruto knew that when the time actually came, he would have to think on his feet. Plans rarely lasted past the drawing board, and while guidelines and general strategy for battle can be a good thing, the ability to be spontaneous and innovative was far more useful.

The problem here was that he hadn't been given any concrete information that could help him devise a battle plan. He didn't have topographical maps, or intelligence on chokepoints set up by sound, or where the entrances to the country were or how they were guarded or the amount of troops they had at their disposal or how strong their allies were in comparison or how modular Ame's forces were or –

"Hey, hero. Calm down, eh? You're going too fast, and your Ki is putting everyone on edge." Yugito from beside him, put a hand on his shoulder, and he only then noticed that Usagi was on her shoulders, rather than his. "I know what you're thinking…but you'll have time for that later. For now, focus on the next step."

He blinked a few times, before he let out a sigh that seemed to drain the tension from his body. "…right. Sorry about that."

The cat woman smiled warmly. "Don't be…just remember that you're not alone this time, and it'll be fine. I don't want that hair of yours going grey before its time, eh?"

"…right." He smiled wistfully. "I guess it is a bit different, isn't it?"

From his other side, Tayuya scoffed. "Stop mothering him, bitch. You said it, didn't you?" She twisted her face into a mocking version of Yugito's. "Naruto's a big boy now!"

While Yugito scowled, Naruto guffawed, his laughter echoing off the compressed wind their speed created. "Oh god, I'm between a mother hen and a cock…" he avoided a swipe by Tayuya to try to hit his scar. "Seriously, the scar again? What the hell, woman?"

Tayuya looked at him for a moment.

And then solidly hit him in the meat of his upper arm.

"Better." He rubbed the spot she'd hit. "And…ouch."

The red head scoffed and shook her head. "Idiot."

Naruto's voice took on a saccharine quality. "But I'm _your_ idiot!"

Tayuya's eyes widened, and she punched his arm again, cleverly hiding a blush. "Fuck that shit!"

"Yugito-neechan…what does 'fuck' mean?"

"Good question, Usagi! Why don't we let Tayuya-_san_ answer?"

Tayuya glared at the former cat lady. "…I hate you so much."

Yugito smiled like a Cheshire. "I know."

From behind them, an amused voice chimed in. "Oi, lovebirds…you can save your foreplay for later." Temari pointed ahead of them. "I can just barely make out the signs of civilization up there. We should be no further than a few miles from our destination at the moment."

Remembering, offhandedly, that Temari's eyesight was second only to Tenten's, he nodded. "Right…we're going to go in cold, no flourish, no big entrance. We're just a band of travelers from water country if anyone asks." His 'business' demeanor took over. "We head to the rendezvous point, meet up with whoever we're meeting with, and then wait. Everyone clear?"

A quiet chorus of acknowledgements reached his ears. He smiled. It was nice dealing with professionals again.

Making one final leap out of the forest they were travelling through, he did a quick Henge and landed in a small clearing.

"Our code phrase, if needed, will be, 'A journey of a thousand miles…' with a response of, 'begins with a single step.'"

Looking around, he saw everyone in various different Henge's, all looking rather nondescript. He nodded, mostly to himself.

He took a step.

* * *

"Orders."

A tall figure shrouded by the night, took a small letter handed to him by his subordinate. Ripping it open, he quickly scanned it.

And then burned it.

Standing, he strapped a tanto with a wakizashi grip to his back, and picked up a small scroll that smelled of new ink.

"I'm leaving on a mission, your new commander will be here shortly."

His subordinates visibly slumped. "Already? But you just got here! And you're the best damned commander we've ever had!"

The tall figure chuckled lightly, a bit of pale skin reflecting in the moonlight. "I am merely emulating someone whom I admire. Emulate me, and you shall enjoy the same success you have always enjoyed."

The figure made a half ram seal and disappeared in a flourish of fluid darkness.

* * *

"Schedule an echocardiogram for him tomorrow. If necessary, I'll perform open heart surgery myself. Also, see to it the boys down at the sterilization plant are given a stern talking to…I don't enjoy bacteria in my operating rooms."

An attendant in common nurse garbs bowed slightly to her superior, before exiting thriftily out the door, admitting a man in ANBU armor as she egressed. Said man handed her superior a letter.

Ripping open the letter, the woman scanned it, and then burned it, a small smile crossing her features. Dismissing the ANBU, she quickly strode to the other side of her immaculate white office and disrobed from her common medical accoutrements, revealing a large bust and shapely figure underneath the lab coat.

In another moment, she was dressed in a simple red Kunoichi dress with patterns of autumn leaves dancing down from the shirt collar, a Kunai holster strapped to an almost naked thigh, and a pouch containing essential medical equipment resting just above her rump.

She laughed femininely, before laughing unrestrainedly.

She'd show him what he'd been missing, and then some. She was ready…the question was if _he_ was.

"Hikari…you're beautiful tonight. I…I guess I've wanted to say this for a while, but –"

A man in ANBU armor appeared before the figure of a tall man with silver-grey hair. "Sempai…orders."

Said sempai stared at the man in ANBU armor for a moment, before gently caressing the blonde locks of his lady of this particular evening. "A moment, if you please."

The girl just giggled.

He…somewhat angrily…snatched a small missive out of the hands of his once subordinate, quickly opening it.

With a snap of his fingers, it burned, and he stood.

"Let's go."

The woman in the lounger pouted at him, more because he hadn't paid the bill yet than anything else. "You're leaving already?"

The tall man with silver-grey hair gave the woman a look. "Icha Icha tactics, chapter ten, page two hundred sixty eight. Did it work?"

The woman looked at him blankly.

He sniffed the air, nodding. "It did. Of course it did. _He_ wrote it, after all."

With a half-ram seal, both men left.

* * *

The man whom even fate and destiny did not dare cross. He was coming. The dream had been _lucid_.

In her sparse quarters, she looked around in the dark, noting absently that she was covered in sweat.

The events themselves had been precise, accurate…as set in stone as any vision she'd ever had. And yet, in the middle of it all, there was a spot of _void_…a place where light did not touch, where the converging streams and essences of past, present, future and entropy simply vanished. Perhaps they didn't even exist in the first place within that void.

Her salvation. The salvation of the country. The messiah of their redemption. The man who, by his very existence, defied the very laws which gave her power.

It was her chance now. It was the chance of an entire country. Her next move would speak to the ages as either a triumph or a defeat.

Because now, she was powerless.

And now, she could by happy.

They all could.

* * *

In wave country, a man walking in a group of travelers stopped.

Before inhaling deeply.

Before sneezing, hard.

Before his Henge dissipated.

He looked around, noting that their inconspicuousness was now very conspicuous.

"Aw, fuck me."

"Yugito-neechan, what –"

Naruto leaned over and whispered something hurried into the girl's ear.

She turned beet red.

Tayuya raised her hand, which Naruto quickly high-fived.

Yugito rolled her eyes. "Idiots. Absolute, complete idiots."

Naruto grinned. "But at least we're fun, right?"


	4. Thanks for the Mammaries

For once, I'm actually satisfied with one of my chapters. It's certainly not perfect, and I think there are things I need to do to make it better, but I think this is one of the better chapters I've ever written.

Enjoy, y'all.

* * *

"You ever do a line of salt before?"

"…what?"

Naruto, sitting on a plush couch, gave her a cockeyed look. "A line of salt. You know, put salt on a mirror or something, and then snort it."

Tayuya looked at him like he'd grown a second, more retarded head. "…no. I haven't. What the fuck, man."

He laughed. "I tried it once, just to say I did y'know?" He shook his head. "Hurts like a bitch. Took _days_ for the sting to wear off. But you know what?"

She was very hesitant to reply…but knew he would tell her, regardless. "…what."

"You spend any amount of time by the sea, or any big body of salt water, and you get the same damned sensation." He rubbed his nose, looking out the window towards the pier which was bustling with people going about their business. "Fuckin' sucks, man. I love this country and its people, but…damn. Y'know? Just…damn."

After a moment, she shook her head and slouched further into the couch, propping her back up on Naruto's arm. "You are one weird motherfucker sometimes, you know that?"

"Of course. What, do you want some emo-boy with black hair flipped over one eye or something? I can do that, if you want." He pulled a bit of his blonde hair over one eye, with his face contorting into a look of whiny apathy. "Sometimes I like to dress up in women's clothing and masturbate while looking in the mirror."

Tayuya chuckled, despite herself. "Shit, that'd be hot to watch. I bet people'd pay money to see that…" she tapped her chin thoughtfully. "…you know, I wonder if Suzu would do that, or better yet, if Suzu did that, and then you walked in, and he was all like, 'Oh, don't look, I'm embarrassed', and you're all like, 'But, you're so cute…',and then he's all like –"

Quickly, Naruto slapped a hand over her mouth. "Don't even speak it. I don't want to hear it. My god, woman…you will never say that again."

Opening her mouth slightly, she bit the finger closest to her teeth, hard. He frowned and pulled his hand away. "Kinky…but did you really have to slobber all over my hand?"

"What's kinky mean?"

The door to the house they were in slammed shut, and Tayuya buried her face in her free hand. "Of course. You guys had to walk in the door exactly as he said that, didn't you?"

Yugito, standing behind a perplexed Usagi, laughed. "Aw, c'mon…just consider it practice for when you two lovebirds have munchkins of your own."

Through her fingers, Tayuya glared daggers at the catwoman. "I swear, I'll murder you."

Said catwoman glared right back. "You can try anytime."

Walking up beside him, Kankurou whistled under his breath. "Man…they always do this?"

Naruto shrugged casually. "Pretty much. They don't like each other. Some woman thing we aren't meant to understand, man."

Kankurou sighed and leaned up against a wall. "Amen to that." A smirk lit up his face. "…kinda hot though. All you'd need is some mud, some skimpy bikinis and a bunch of sake, and –"

Temari, seemingly omnipresent, thumped Kankurou's chest soundly, earning a wheezing cough. "Cut it with the pervy bullshit, eh? You're a grown-up now, start acting it."

"Fuck that shit." Kankurou rubbed his chest and pouted in Temari's direction. "Besides, how does he," he pointed at Naruto. "…get away with it, and I don't?"

The girl shrugged and sat down. "Woman shit, you weren't meant to understand."

Naruto put on his best, most roguish smile. "I'm just better looking. Around me, every guy is the wingman. Just a fact of life, dude. That's all."

"God I hate you sometimes." Kankurou rolled his eyes and sat down next to his sister. "God damned late bloomers."

The blonde 'late bloomer' just laughed.

Tayuya, now out of her death-staring match with Yugito, leaned back. "Right, well, now that we're all here and settled…anyone manage to find out anything?" She looked around the room. "…like where the fucking people who own this house are supposed to be? I mean, I like breaking into places as much as the next Shinobi, but I thought we were going for good-will here."

Temari, across the room in a separate couch shook her head. "Nada. At least, not without overtly asking someone 'Hey, where the fuck are they.' Everything's too busy around here to get any eavesdropping information from anyone."

Yugito, still leaning against a wall, nodded with a scowl. "Yeah. This place is like, _the_ business hub of the entire country. I got a bunch of information on shipments of goods, a few criminal operations, and even some info on where the local brothels are…but nothing on this 'first family' of wave."

Naruto scowled. "That can't be right. With as much money as Tazuna makes these days, I'd assume he'd have his hands in just about everything around here." He tapped his knee absently, stifling a yawn. "Besides the fact, that if this is the place Ame set up to be the rendezvous location, you'd expect Tazuna and company to be here when we showed up."

"Unless…" Tayuya flinched. "Unless the enemy got wind that this place was the meeting spot. You have to take that into consideration…Naruto."

He laughed.

"I have…trust me." The smile never left his face, and Tayuya closed her eyes in an almost resigned manner. "That would just mean I have to kill a bunch of motherfuckers before we leave, y'know?"

She'd seen it before, of course, on a few occasions. The smile that Naruto put on when he didn't feel like looking angry, or sad. The smile that was as insincere as anything she'd ever seen.

It usually preceded very bad things happening to very bad people, in very gory, indescribably cruel ways.

It was part of the small percent of him that had become evil, in order to fight evil. The small percentage that existed within him that allowed him to be capable of such acts of depravity and horror as to make almost anyone lose the content of their stomach, among other things.

Temari broke the slightly uncomfortable introspective silence. "…I don't think that's the case, however. Regardless of this 'Tazuna' character's influence on the town, I believe his absence would stir up a hornet's nest far more than his simple existence. The void he'd create if he were gone would be larger than the space he currently occupies, if that makes any sense."

Naruto nodded, the smile now replaced with a bored, relaxed expression. "Eh, not really, but I get the gist of it." He scratched his chest. "Regardless, we're not going to get anything done just sitting around here doing nothing." His eyes opened just a bit. "We'll keep searching. Rena and Yugito will remain here, the rest of us will split up and take different quadrants of the town to search in…" his eyes narrowed, ever so slightly. "…this time, though…be on the lookout for anything even remotely suspicious. We have to at least be prepared for the worst case scenario; may it never come to pass."

All present nodded. Naruto stood, adjusting his bandolier slightly. "When Rena gets done with…whatever it is she's doing, let her know what's going on."

Yugito nodded. "Will do."

He gestured to Tayuya, before walking towards the door. Tayuya stood with a grunt and followed slowly, but not before being stopped by a hand on her shoulder, Naruto comfortably out of earshot.

"If you don't make your move, Tayuya…you _will_ lose your chance." Yugito eyed the redhead dangerously. "I'm nearly at my limit of patience. You've had your year."

Tayuya brushed the hand off her shoulder, scoffing. "Don't waste my time with your games, bitch." She smiled, equally as dangerously. "There's no 'move' to be made."

Laughing lightly, Yugito shook her head. "You don't quite get it, do you?" Quite suddenly, her eyes opened wide, pupils slit, irises purple. "Don't fuck with me, Tayuya. Right now, you're the one closest to him." Her knuckles cracked as her hands twitched. "But no matter how close to him you are…if you make so much as one misstep…you'll never get another chance." Her eyes narrowed. "I've found what I want…what I need. You're the only thing standing in between him and me. Remember that."

Only somewhat nonplussed, Tayuya huffed and walked out the door, catching up with Naruto in a few seconds.

A few seconds afterwards, Yugito collapsed in a heap of nerves on the couch.

"Damned blonde…"

She rubbed the bridge of her nose.

"I need a god damned drink."

* * *

"I've got a love-ly bunch of coconuts, dee dee le dee dee…"

He absently picked up a melon from a nearby stand, weighing it for a moment, before flipping a coin to the vendor. He quickly slashed it in half with some wind chakra and dug in.

"…there they are. Standing in the road." Tayuya pointed towards a small family like grouping dressed in expensive clothes and seemingly attracting all sorts of attention. "Going by the description, that's gotta be them."

He took another munch of melon, not minding the juice dripping down his chin. "Hmm…certainly looks that way. I don't remember Tsunami being that stacked though. Must be an age thing." He tossed the empty husk of half the melon away, snapping his fingers and making the second half disappear into a stasis seal on his arm. "…that's definitely Tazuna though. A bit more rotund than I remember him, but success will do that to a guy."

Tayuya raised an eyebrow. "Not to you, I hope. I'd hate to see what you look like as a fuckin' whale."

"Nah, metabolism is too fast for that kinda thing to happen to me." He grinned, wiping some of the juice off his chin. "You should know, with that whole body heat thing, eh?"

She elbowed him in the side, hard. "Don't ever speak of that again."

Of course, he popped out of existence. She cussed under her breath.

Naruto reappeared behind her, leaning over her shoulder. "Regardless, we need to be tactful about this. We're already under Henge, so making contact shouldn't be that big of a deal…but people will get suspicious if we try to lead him away all of a sudden."

She nodded. "We wait then?"

He patted the top of her head, earning a hard, murderous glare. "Now you're thinking. I'm gonna do a sweep of the area real quick, make sure we don't have any unfriendlies…tag with Tazuna, and try to make it look casual. Maybe try smiling. Good to work those muscles every once in a while."

She dug her nails into his chest, savoring the feeling before he predictably popped out of existence.

Nevertheless, she walked to a nearby stand and picked up…something. Her Shinobi 'instinct' kicked in, and she made conversation with the lady behind the counter, even going so far as to smile a bit.

But not because Naruto said too.

Never.

* * *

"Contact has been made, Aoishi-sama. The Ryuujin has agreed to our proposal. We are currently rendezvousing in the country of wave, as per orders."

The static-filled image of a younger, but hard looking woman flickered for a moment, before it seemed to nod. "That is…very good news, Rena. You've done your job well."

Rena smiled, but only slightly. "Thank you. What of…the others that were sent?"

The woman in the image leaned back in a ratty chair. "We've confirmed that Konoha has accepted our proposal as well. Yuki no Kuni has accepted the proposal, but only on the condition that Ryuujin himself will cooperate. All in all, it has been a…rousing success."

She nodded. "That is good to hear. It seems as though almost everything we had hoped for has happened." She smiled, genuinely, as she sighed out a month's worth of pent up stress. "I am…excited, for the first time in a long time."

The image smiled. "As am I. Perhaps there is still hope left after all." The woman's look became hard once again. "However, we can't afford to lose focus. Continue on with the mission parameters as specified. All parties should rendezvous in wave as per instructions within two days time. After that, autonomy of the mission will be in the hands of Ryuujin."

Rena nodded, if hesitantly. "He seems capable…perhaps to a fault. He is not exactly what we believed him to be. He is far more…" she paused. "…the best word I can think of, is 'hardened'. It is quite obvious he knows of war…and knows what it does and can do to a people. Quite frankly, Aoishi-sama…"

She ran a hand through her hair. "…he terrifies me like nothing else ever has."

The woman in the image said nothing for a time, before seeming to nod. "Perhaps…" the image sighed. "Perhaps that is precisely what we need."

Both women were silent.

Rena broke the deafening pause. "The next time we meet, will be at the base. Please, hold out until then."

Aoishi smiled and nodded. "We will survive. We can't die when we're this close."

"May it be so." Rena smiled, before bowing slightly and reaching for the button to the small device, turning it off.

She slumped.

Behind her, holding some sort of chilled alcoholic beverage, Yugito raised an eyebrow. "I've never seen anything like that before. Some sort of chakra-transmission device?"

Rena started only slightly, before quickly taking the cylindrical device and stashing it in a fold of her baggy kimono. "Something like that. How much did you see?"

The older woman shrugged. "Most of it. Not that big of a deal though." She took a sip. "I'm somewhat surprised though. I'd thought the leader of the former village hidden in the rain would be male. It's a traditional society, after all."

"Not former. Just…deposed." Rena stood and stretched her back. "…and it used to be male. Aoishi-sama is the leader by virtue of having no one else left qualified."

Yugito winced. "That bad?"

Rena said nothing, only turning and sauntering out of the room at a slow pace. "We have Ryuujin now, as well as the cooperation of the village hidden in the leaves. Regardless of our own shortcomings in regards to personnel, we are fully ready to begin the offensive anew when our mercenary reinforcements arrive."

"Hmm…?" Yugito turned away from the wall she was leaning on. "Well, whatever. You got Naruto, at least. That'd pretty much be enough right there."

Rena flopped down on a couch, leaning her head back and heaving a sigh. For a moment, all was silent.

"Yugito…what exactly do you know of Naruto's skill in matters of war?"

The older woman lowered her head slightly, before walking casually to the other couch in the room and sitting down hard. "Enough. I know enough."

Rena popped an eye open. "…such as?"

Yugito took a sip from her drink, crossing her legs in the process, seeming far more subdued than before.

She didn't know how much Naruto would want her to tell the girl.

She sighed, deciding to simply give her a morsel to chew on. "Tell me, Rena…have you ever heard of the Tadashii Muzen?"

* * *

A statue. They'd made a fucking statue of him.

Tall, roguish looking, with a Kunai in one hand and a fist raised to his chest. A smile.

It wasn't like he minded, but it was weird as all hell. He wasn't used to outright hero worship, though he was used to reverence and perhaps a bit of fear. What he received in Taira was adoration, and what he got in Konoha, towards the end, was satisfied approval and genuine camaraderie. Being hailed as some sort of pseudo-deity, savior of a country was…different.

He felt someone walking up to him, though he paid them no mind. They had a chakra presence…stronger than a civilian at any rate.

"He really was a hero, you know? A great Shinobi, and a man I consider my rival. That's Uzumaki Naruto."

He glanced to his side casually…and barely managed to keep his jaw from falling slack.

_Barely_.

Instead, he crossed his arms and cocked his head, looking at the statue again. "Hmm? That's the Ryuujin before he went rogue, eh?" he scoffed. "Not that impressive."

The young man next to him frowned. "He didn't go rogue. He had a reason, even though I don't know what it is." The young man turned his eyes on him. "And I'd appreciate it if you didn't insult the hero of this country in my presence" The young man's eyes narrowed. "…especially considering you're an unknown Shinobi."

Naruto raised an eyebrow appraisingly. "Oh? Noticed I have a Henge up, did you?"

Again, the young man's expression changed, this time to something far harder, perhaps more focused. "I did. Though, I'll give you credit that I can't see through it."

Naruto's Henge'd visage smirked. "You're not good enough, then." He turned towards the man he knew as a boy. "Shall I instruct you?"

Inari pulled a Kunai surreptitiously. "Just because you're good at illusions, does not mean you're skilled at combat. I wouldn't try anything."

He smirked very mischievously.

"Do or do not…there is no try."

He vanished.

Inari's eyes widened, before he too performed a rudimentary Shunshin, far slower, but just as effective. He wound up in the woods just past the bridge, opposite the 'unknown Shinobi' across a small clearing. His eyes narrowed.

Naruto's mischievous smile never left his face.

Much to his surprise, however, Inari started hand seals. The kid knew Jutsu, apparently…though he had no idea how he could have gotten formal training without joining a village.

"Suiton: Suijin Heki!"

Naruto raised an eyebrow in confusion. While the Suijinheki was a higher-level Jutsu, it was meant primarily for defense. Using it at the start of a battle –

As he saw the kunai with explosive notes start to bombard him from behind the wall of water that had appeared out of literally _nowhere_, he smirked. Behind that wall of water, he couldn't tell where Inari was. All he could do was dodge.

Or at least, that was the premise, anyway.

He'd start the kid off light.

In the blink of an eye, the kunai converged on his location, some even curving slightly to hone towards him. In another blink, they had all detonated, strewing hewn bark and leaves and other bits of detritus everywhere.

The wall of water dissipated, a slightly regretful Inari emerging from it. "…shit. They usually dodge…"

Behind him, he heard a laugh. "The difference is, you _see_ them dodge. You didn't _see_ me dodge, therefore you assume I didn't. For shame."

He spun, drawing a kunai and putting it in front of him defensively.

Naruto looked at the boy, leaning up against a tree, a half-eaten melon resting in his hand. "Though, it's a neat trick. Mask your location, make them dodge, take away the ability to counterattack, and when they're vulnerable, strike. Shinobi one-oh-one, kid."

He took a few more bites of the melon quickly before discarding the husk. "Wanna try again?"

Inari's brow furrowed. "I thought you said that there was no such thing as 'try'?"

Naruto smirked. "You learn quick."

Underneath the Kage Bunshin, a small cache of explosive notes detonated.

Naruto…the real one, at any rate, held a kunai to the young man's neck, freezing him for fear of making a wrong move. "Now…there were three mistakes made in that sequence. Rather than ask you what they were, I'll simply list them out for you."

He yawned. "First, you assumed that simply because you could tell I had a Henge on, we were similar in level. You said it yourself, that illusionary skill does not equal combat skill." He scratched his chest. "Secondly, you assumed that your volley of kunai was fast enough to put me off my guard. Thirdly, perhaps most importantly, while you correctly guessed where I would end up, you did not factor into your guess that perhaps I knew exactly where you had placed your explosive notes. Misdirection, my dear boy."

Inari's budding Adam's apple bobbed as he gulped, a bead of sweat making its way down his neck. "What's with the lecture, if you're just going to kill me, eh?"

Naruto laughed. "I never said I was going to kill you. In fact, if you'll remember, I expressed my intention to instruct you, did I not?"

"But…that…" Inari grit his teeth. "…just who are you? What exactly is going on here?"

Slowly, Naruto withdrew the kunai from Inari's neck, sheathing it safely away. He jumped off the tree branch they had been standing on, absently rubbing his chest and walking at a slow canter towards the town. "I think, by now, your mom and grandpa should be waiting for us at your pad…I doubt Tayuya had the patience to wait for me. We should probably make our way there…" he stopped and looked around pensively for a moment. "…whichever way it was…where the hell are we?"

Instead of well thought out directions, Naruto got the blunt end of a kunai to the forehead, a snarling Inari staring him down. "What have you done with my mom? "

Naruto blinked, a small trickle of blood making its way down his nose. "Wow. You were quiet enough not to tip me off, and fast enough so that it didn't register for me to dodge." He grinned. "That's your first lesson, Inari."

He put his right hand into a half-ram seal. "When you're protecting the ones you cherish the most…that is when you are at your strongest."

He dematerialized.

Inari blinked.

Before taking off at a very fast pace for home.

* * *

The more and more he lived, the more he found the charms of a well matured woman to be…nigh irresistible.

It wasn't as though younger women didn't have their appeal. Lithe, taut bodies, younger skin, perfectly ripened breasts and supple yet tight posteriors…

But at some point, you simply had _enough_ of the cosmetic, and found yourself almost pulled, in a way, towards the more…subtle qualities…that older women possessed.

"Oh dear, let me get a band-aid…that's a nasty cut, Naruto-kun."

Such as their femininity, for one. The way they held themselves gracefully, with pride, and yet humility and a sense of almost unending kindness behind it. They didn't try to emulate males, nor did they attempt to overly emphasize that they were female with poor acting skills. They had honed their personality, their gender, to the point that they had an absolute confidence that they were, in fact, women, and they would not let you forget that fact. However, instead of forcing it upon you with draconian gender warring, they used the very things they were gifted with.

As Tsunami hovered over his forehead, applying some disinfectant, Naruto really couldn't help but notice that age had done nothing to diminish the woman's breasts.

Perhaps more than anything, older women satisfied the thing in men that yearned for the older ways…the days when men fought and died, when they brought home the money, earned the family's wealth, and protected their brood. The days when women took care of the house, took care of the kids, and became a pillar that the men leaned on for their sanity and happiness, a pillar that men would protect with their lives to their last breath, without regret.

Nostalgic…and perhaps sexist and dated…but still a powerful and evocative mental image. Not a man alive, or a woman for that matter, would admit it…to do such a thing would be against the societal rules that governed their time…

Tsunami applied a makeshift bandage to his forehead, licking her finger and smoothing down a rogue piece of hair in the process.

He would fuck her into the ground hard enough to shatter the earth.

Judging by the older woman's wink, she would enjoy it, as well.

He thanked his extraordinary willpower at that moment, for saving him from making an ass of himself.

But later…

"Mom! Grandpa! What's…"

A door slammed…and moments later, a panting and sweating Inari was looking at him with a blank expression written on his features. All parties in the room were silent for the moment.

He smirked. "You're really not bad, Inari. Perhaps a tad predictable after your first salvo, but…"

The young man's eyes widened, especially as he saw the band-aid on Naruto's forehead.

Naruto found himself enveloped in a hug.

He laughed, returning the hug with a decidedly manly pat to the back. "Hah…good to see you too."

Inari, somewhat sheepishly, pulled back, rubbing the back of his head.

Tayuya, situated next to a very reserved Rena and Usagi, wasn't watching any of it. Something else had her fascinated, absolutely enraptured.

That _smile_.

Naruto was as good as anyone at hiding his emotions behind faked expressions and well thought out fronts. It was one of the things Shinobi just did well…a job skill.

However, Naruto was gifted, especially, insomuch that his entire outwards persona was based around his ability to obscure his feelings and general thoughts behind a few very well rehearsed motions and expressions. Scratching his chest, yawning…that clueless, bordering on stupid look he often had on his face.

And of course, he could improvise with the best of them.

But there were a few times…probably fewer than she could count on two hands, where Naruto's expression became _unguarded_.

Where the look on his face wasn't well rehearsed. When his mannerisms were spontaneous, and almost unreadable.

When he _smiled_…and meant it.

It was beautiful. And the few times she'd gotten to see it had burned themselves so deeply into her memory that they would never leave.

She didn't notice it, but on her own face, there bloomed a smile that very much resembled the one she was looking at.

Naruto, now sitting cross-legged across from Inari, who had grabbed a chair from the kitchen, scratched his chest. "Ah…this is nostalgic. It's been like…what…" Naruto yawned, raising an eyebrow. "Wow. Nine years. Fuckin' A."

An aged, slightly fatter and balder bridge builder laughed from his spot in a rather cushy rocking chair. "Nine years indeed. Amazing how time flies, hm?" he waved his hand, gesturing at Naruto askance. "You've grown up quite a bit since then, haven'tcha?"

He chuckled a bit. "You could say that, yeah." He scratched his chest. "We've got a day or so to catch up, though…we should concentrate on what we actually came here for first."

Adjacent to Tayuya, Rena nodded politely. "Indeed. I was informed, Tazuna-sama…that you were to be providing a certain amount of capital for our war effort. I don't mean to sound greedy or ungrateful, but…" she glanced to the side. "Unfortunately, we're in a bit of a hurry."

Tazuna waved his free hand absently. "Eh, don't worry about it. I've had it prepared for a while now." He glanced over at Inari. "Go into the vault and get those briefcases for me, would you?"

The boy nodded fervently, dashing off through the back door.

Tsunami, sitting in a traditional pose on the floor next to Naruto's legs, giggled femininely. "He's always so energetic…even with such mundane things."

Naruto nodded, smiling. "Indeed. He's certainly motivated. Which reminds me…" he crossed his legs. "…just where did he get his training?"

The older man in the room rumbled. "Against my wishes…he got his training from some damned nukenin that came by town a few years back. Gave the kid a book, a few pointers, and then just left." He closed his eyes and grumbled. "Though I can't argue with the results…it still burns my ass."

"Nukenin?" Naruto looked genuinely interested. "Do you have any idea who?"

Tsunami shook her head. "We have no idea. All we know is that Inari met him in the forest…and apparently, the Nukenin was drunk. He's kept us in the dark on the rest." The well matured woman sighed. "He gets this faraway look in his eyes whenever he talks about him, too. It's downright creepy."

Naruto's eyebrow twitched, unnoticed to the rest of the room. He yawned to cover it up. "Hm. Well, I suppose as long as he's alright." He glanced towards the door as Inari came back in, carrying two rather large briefcases in either hand. He set them on the ground as Naruto knelt down to take a look at them.

"Wow. Carbon-steel locking mechanisms, dye packets…the whole thing." He looked up and grinned at Tazuna. "You know what you're doing, or at least your bank does."

Tazuna waved his hand. "You don't live this long without having your fair share of clandestine transactions. It's par for the course, anyway."

Naruto nodded, absently biting his thumb and drawing a simple seal on the outside of each briefcase. Without even looking, his thumb made graceful arcs and jagged lines, tracing a thin line of his blood across the surface. With a simple half-ram formed on his free hand, the blood glowed and sizzled for a moment, before imprinting itself on the outside of each case. He stood with a lazy grunt.

The briefcases popped out of existence. Tazuna and Rena's eyes both widened considerably.

Naruto scratched his chest and yawned. "Don't worry, just a simple storage seal. They're safe and sound. Easier and more secure that way." He looked around the room, noting that everyone was present. "Right then…that takes care of business. Y'all are free until the reinforcements get here…just don't draw too much attention to yourselves."

Everyone nodded, and began milling about.

Tazuna and Naruto casually made their way to the door, and into the town.

* * *

It was a helluva vantage point. Standing at the tip of a bluff, overlooking the city that had prospered so beautifully since his intervention on their behalf.

The wind blew his hair gently, the sun just at its zenith for the day. It was a cool, sea breeze, and it smelled…fresh, for lack of a proper term to describe it. He smiled, for once without a cigarette in his mouth or hand.

Tazuna, next to him, puffed absently on a pipe. "It never ceases to amaze me the progress this city has made. It seems every time I come up here, there's a few new houses under construction, a new part of land reclaimed and new families I've never seen before." He smiled reminiscently. "…the memories of what it used to be like are fading out of my mind."

Naruto chuckled. "That could just be senility, you never know."

"Watch it." Tazuna grumbled good naturedly. "I'm not that old yet."

They stood there in amiable silence for a while, just gazing out over the town. Naruto pushed a lock of hair behind one of his ears.

"This is going to be big, old man." Naruto's eyes seemed to dim a bit. "This is going to be…" He trailed off for a moment, his eyes becoming unfocused. "…era defining. The new era is going to ride on the backs of what we accomplish in the country of rain."

Tazuna blew out a large plume of smoke. "You don't know the half of it."

The old man began walking down the side of the bluff, Naruto following at a short distance in case he fell. "What you've been told by that girl…and whatever other information you've obtained…they're not giving the situation enough credit."

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"Ever since rain approached me about this, I've been checking into the situation as best I can. I've greased some pockets, and even checked in with the local Yakuza." Tazuna sighed. "There's some shit going on in rain that defies logic…there's stuff going on that makes you rethink the lengths that people will go to in order to accomplish their goals. Stuff that you see in nightmares."

The blonde stopped mid stride, causing the older man to look up at him with tired, weary eyes. Naruto stared back, all levity gone from his features.

"I don't care what you've gone through up until now, kid." Tazuna's eyes closed.

"You are not prepared."

* * *

There was something to be said for drugs.

Or rather, drugs of the Shinobi variety. Soldier pills, endorphin and adrenaline injections, slow-release pain inhibitor patches…that sort of thing. The necessary evils for their trade.

One of those necessary evils was the good old 'stay awake' pill that most Shinobi carried with them for either prolonged travel, or prolonged combat, or any situation that called for _haste_ and lots of it. Usually it wasn't issued to any Shinobi not of at least special Jounin rank…but on a few occasions, it was issued to Chuunin. Invasions, especially.

As she hopped through the trees, bags under her eyes, she couldn't help but feel she was developing a resistance to the things.

"Kakashi…we're almost there, right?"

The one-eyed, one-armed (at least, when he had his book open) man briefly glanced at her. "Probably."

Sakura groaned. "You don't have an empathetic bone in your body, do you?" She glanced to her other side, where Sai, eyes closed, was jumping in tandem with her. "…and he can travel while asleep. Holy shit I hate him."

Kakashi shrugged. "Good skill to have. More or less required for ANBU. You'd know that if you'd done your stint like you were supposed to."

Behind them, a deeper female voice chuckled. "She didn't have the heart for it. She's a healing prodigy more skilled than Tsunade, and stronger to boot…but the chick can't even slide a kunai across someone's neck."

"Shut up, damn it." Sakura's expression became deadpan. "Just because I can't kill like you, Anko-sempai, doesn't mean I'm couldn't kick your ass."

Anko raised an eyebrow, a smirk dancing on her lips. "Oh? Care to test that out?"

"Quiet. You're both irritating me." Ibiki, next to Anko, rubbed his scarred temple. "Your voices seem to induce headaches. That might be a useful skill in Torture and Interrogation."

Sai, now apparently roused, took that moment to pipe in. "Women tend to be more irritating of the two genders. Their voices also tend to be more shrill, and less soothing than the baritone of a common male voice. This can cause headaches much more frequently than normal." His tone was level, and logical. "…at least, that's what the data suggests."

Sakura _barely_ resisted the urge to make a crater in the dirt with the man. Instead, she glared daggers. "…you'll pay for that, you realize."

The raven haired replacement didn't respond. His eyes were closed…asleep.

She almost cried.

Behind Kakashi came a feminine giggle. "You have to admire him for saying his mind, at least. And you can tell he doesn't mean anything mean by it. He's a good guy."

"Bullshit. You just don't know him well enough, Hinata." Sakura sighed, rubbing at her own temple. "How close are we, Kakashi? And no 'close enough' bull this time, eh?"

Surprisingly, Kakashi shut his book, stowing it in his shuriken pouch. "We're less than a minute out." He put his hands in a quick ram seal, and Henge'd into a plain man with black hair and nondescript clothes. "Rendezvous occurs at Tazuna's house…we'll make our way there on foot. Try not to draw any attention to yourselves."

The rest of the team put on their own henges, everyone shaking off what exhaustion they had and becoming completely business like. Sakura flexed her hands…they were a tad stiff.

The second part of the team would be bringing up the rear in a few hours…they'd been delayed slightly.

This meant they were the vanguard.

Which meant, if anything went wrong, they'd have to deal with it.

She almost grinned. She hadn't been in a good knock-down drag-out fight in a while. She was itching for some trouble.

The boughs of the trees cleared as the city came into view, and they dropped to the ground, each adopting a fast saunter. Each was on the lookout.

Briefly, the image of Naruto flitted through her head.

She smiled.

* * *

When he needed to think, there was no place more suitable to him than an open grass field.

Lying on the grass, staring at the sky was comfortable…peaceful. It put some things into perspective almost immediately, and more than that, being ambushed in the middle of an open field was…hard. You'd notice them well before they could surprise you.

What Tazuna had told him…had sent chills down his spine. Both from anger, and outright unease.

The things people would do to other people…

He felt it before he saw it, a large mass of Chakra converging from the north, roughly on his position. They seemed to be skilled at hiding their presence, at least…but they were powerful enough that it still came through.

In an instant, his body disintegrated, and he appeared high in the air over the position the intruding Nin were currently striding over. They were going fast…and they were definitely in Henge. Trying not to draw attention to themselves, quite obviously.

Inconspicuousness can be very conspicuous.

As he fell, he charged a Rasengan in his right hand. It probably wouldn't hit any of them, but it would scatter them at least. He drew his hand back, and threw the ball of chakra as hard as he could.

With the acceleration from his fall, and the strength behind the throw, the Rasengan plowed into the center of the group like a meteor, kicking up dust and dirt all around. He charged some chakra into his hands of the wind variety, and as he landed…hard…he whirled quickly to disperse the dust around him. He could still feel them…they'd definitely gotten away in time.

A shuriken came out of the debris, fast. Flipping the hilt of Fuujin up into his hand quickly, he sliced the shuriken in half neatly, before bringing the sword into a guard position. A few more shuriken came at him from different angles, but he either dodged them or sliced them as well.

The throws, however, had allowed him to make out one of the Shinobi's position. He disintegrated.

He reappeared behind the Shinobi that had been lax enough to give away his position from this throws. Of course, he realized at once that the Shinobi he was behind was a clone, but then again…so was he.

With a neat slash, the Kage Bunshin tore through the Dorubo Bunshin, before twirling and cutting another kunai that came from behind him. The Kage Bunshin dispelled, suddenly.

Naruto, again high in the air, noted that one of them was a lightning master. To be able to flow electricity through the ground at such a current so that it was not noticeable, but enough to damage, was…very skillful.

By now, the debris had completely dissipated, allowing him to survey the field. There were five of them, in a pentagonal formation. Each had a Kunai raised, save for one…whose fists were glowing bright blue.

The side of his mouth quirked into a slight frown, as his eyebrow rose. The stance, and the amount of chakra being used was familiar. More than that…

On a hunch, he put his hands in a ram seal, and as his fall neared the ground, he gathered up a small amount of chakra (to him) and pulsed it outwards forcibly. "Kai!"

The chakra pulse bowled over the Shinobi in their formation, causing one to tumble almost twenty yards before coming to a stop. In puffs of smoke, their Henge's dissolved.

Drawing Fuujin, he set off at a dead run towards the Shinobi nearest him, the one with glowing fists. The smoke was almost dissipated from around them…almost enough for him to make them out.

But he had the element of surprise.

Stopping just short, he held the wind-blade to the pink-haired woman's neck. He noted, absently, her rather skimpy clothing, especially considering her position towards him with her butt up in the air. "…as much as I appreciate the view, I'm going to have to ask you to stand up, slowly."

The woman almost growled. "…that hurt, god damn it. You son of a bi-"

Sakura turned around, and came face to face with blue eyes, blonde hair, and whisker marks on a surprised face.

The two just stood (and crouched respectively) there for a few moments, before Naruto's wind blade deactivated and he put it away in a pouch in his pants. He just stared.

So did Sakura.

Walking up beside them, Sai dusted himself off. "You've become rather attractive in your time away. Your tan, especially, suggests virility."

Neither of the two budged, save for Sakura's eye twitching.

"He's just about the same, isn't he?"

"Yeah…he really hasn't changed much."

Naruto cocked his head, a small smile blooming on his face. "I…don't think the same could be said about you."

Sakura blinked a few times…before blushing a bright red. It was true she'd purposely worn skimpy clothing for her first meeting with her teammate in years…but she'd expected that she'd be controlling the conversation. Him pointing it out, for some reason, made it a bit embarrassing.

Though, she didn't complain. Truth be told, Naruto was…amazingly sculpted. Tanned skin, a large but not bulky musculature…he was tall, too. Broad shouldered and well proportioned, with maturing features retaining a little bit of boyish charm. And his eyes…deep…and a bit darker than she remembered. The shine of youth was all but gone from them, but instead there was a defined confidence and a warmth to them that made one feel safe.

And then there was that aura about him…that confident, self assured, mature aura that felt almost domineering in its command. You felt safe in it, but it was just dangerous enough…to make it amazingly sexy.

Beside her, Anko pulled a few bits of grass out of her hair. "Daaaamn. Boy got sexy. You doin' anything tonight sugar?"

Naruto didn't laugh, or blush, or stutter, like Sakura almost expected him to do. Instead, he put on the most amazingly alluring smile she'd ever seen. "…I think I am now."

Anko…_shivered_. Sakura gaped. "Oh hell yeah. Talk to me later, eh?"

"Will do." Naruto chuckled and shook his head. "This probably isn't the best place to have a reunion. What say we head to somewhere a tad more…secure?"

Kakashi, book open in front of him, eye-smiled. "Yeah. Let's do that."

Naruto disintegrated. The rest of the Shinobi, sensing that he'd reappeared nearer to the city, performed Shunshin as well.

It was one way, at least, to have a reunion.


	5. Eye to Eye Wall

Fucking thing decided that my line breaks weren't actually line breaks and just out and out deleted the things. Fixed now. Fuck that shit.

* * *

"...who in the _hell_ does she think she is?"

The blonder of the two shrugged, but continued to worry her little cocktail toothpick down to a stub. "I dunno...I mean, she _is_ kinda a big deal. Apprentice to a sannin, slug summoner, healer extraordinaire..."

Tayuya blew a piece of hair out of her face. "That is the skimpiest fucking chinese dress I have ever seen in my entire life...and that's really saying something."

"Yeah, I know." Yugito shifted her butt on the chair, watching this 'Sakura' person chat with Naruto, both seemingly lost in happy reminisces. The other reinforcements from Konoha, namely the really pale guy, the Cyclops, and the cow-titted Hyuuga seemed content to sit on the periphery and watch. The really scarred dude with the bandana seemed to be chatting quietly with Tazuna.

"I bought it for her, you know. Took her out shopping one night when she was drunker than Tsunade after a bad mission."

Yugito looked over at the fishnet-wearing Jounin to her left, drinking sake directly out of a bottle. "Really? Chick doesn't seem the type to get sloshed."

Anko shrugged, taking another hefty swig. "Eh, she's not really. But she IS the type to go absolutely overboard when she _does_ drink. It's honestly more entertaining to watch than porn."

"Speaking of which." Kankurou leaned back in his chair. "You seen that new video out of Yuki no Kuni? The one with -"

"Oh, where the chick -"

"Yeah, and it goes ALL the way in. That's some badass shit right there."

"Pfft. I could do better."

Temari put her hand on her brother's mouth before he could respond, sighing in the process. "As enlightening as all this is, I think I'll be heading to bed. I'm thinking we'll have a long day tomorrow, so the rest of you should think about turning in early as well."

Tayuya, who had not been paying attention at all to any of the conversation going on around her, snorted derisively. "Yeah, that's fine. Me though?" Her lip curled...in a cute way. "I gotta keep this hussy from doing anything _untoward_."

"You mean, the kinda shit you would do, given the chance?" Yugito smirked.

"I will smack the fuck out of you and make you shit out your mouth if you don't shut up."

Kankurou perked up slightly. "If you're going to fight, can you give me time to get something to record it with?" He hummed thoughtfully for a second. "...and some mud?"

Temari thumped her brother on the top of the head, standing in the process. "Right then. We're heading to bed. G'night."

"Hey, wait, _we_?"

"Yes, brother. _We_."

The black clad sand Jounin sighed heavily. "Aw, fuck me."

Anko chucked and made a cat sound. "Kinky. Let me know how the baby turns out, you two."

Temari simply gave them all the finger as she trotted up the stairs, brother in tow.

The women sat in semi-companionable silence for a few minutes, preferring to drink and stare rather than get into another conversation about alcohol, dresses and porn.

Anko leaned back in her chair, making an audible creaking sound. "Yo...Tayuya, right?"

Not tearing her eyes away from Naruto, Tayuya nodded.

"So...you're the one who blondie has been spending all his time with right?" Anko took a short swig. "I've been hearing some really interesting shit about him. Some mystical sword and speed that rivals his dad...that whole thing." She glanced over at Tayuya, who spared her a glance. "How much of its true?"

Tayuya paused for a moment, before sighing and slumping in her chair. "...some."

Anko quirked an eyebrow, and a side of her mouth. "Looking for a bit more detail there, hun."

"I know you are. But you're not getting it from me." Tayuya crossed her legs. "What he wants to share with you guys, he will. Not my call."

Yugito chuckled. "The sword thing is true, and he's faster than his dad ever was...kinda."

Tayuya's eyes widened and her head nearly twisted off in an effort to glare at the woman. "What the fuck, bitch?"

"Do you REALLY think it matters? There are secrets, and then there's common knowledge in rumor form." Yugito flipped her hair out of her face. "She's just fishing anyway. Konoha probably gave them all a file before they came here...she just wants to see how much we know."

Anko smirked. "Guilty as charged. Can't help it, spent time in torture and interrogation, information is kinda my _thing_." She turned to Yugito. "...what'd you mean by 'kinda'?"

Yugito shrugged. "I won't claim to know how Naruto's shunshin works, or even how Hiraishin worked, but it's not like Kumo didn't have any intel on your Yondaime." She took a sip from her glass of wine. "I'm not sure if what either of them did really counts as 'speed', hence the 'kinda'. Both techniques are so far outside the realm of normal shinobi that attempting to classify them really just doesn't work."

Tayuya sighed. "He explained it to me once." Both women looked at her with thinly veiled surprise. "Something about time and space connecting and completing a circuit...went WAY over my head. Personally I don't think he even knew what he was talking about, but that's just me."

"In reality, both techniques are very similar. Naruto simply has the chakra capacity to do what his father did without the need of seals and kunai." Forgotten in the corner, Rena stroked Usagi's white hair as she slept silently. Tayuya, Anko and Yugito all looked at her quizzically.

She shrugged. "Say what you will about Ame before our collapse, but our intelligence network was second to none. Our file on the Yondaime Hokage alone was enough to fill up an entire storage room, and at least half of that was scientific findings and conjecture on Hiraishin."

Anko hummed thoughtfully. "I take it you've read the entire room or something?"

"Not all of it, no...but most of it." Usagi stirred momentarily before burrowing further into Rena's midsection. "Some parts are sealed so thoroughly that it's literally impossible to open them without a small team of specialists backing you up. Even then, there are no guarantees."

"So, basically, you're saying that Naruto can do what his father could do, better?" Anko was silent for a moment after her observation. "Well that's good news."

All present sat in companionable silence for a while, merely watching the small din of conversation and drinking whatever their particular poison was.

Tayuya burped, before scowling at Sakura.

"How the fuck did she get tits like that?"

* * *

"So? How would you do it?"

Kakashi, on the roof, turned a page in his book. It was well past bedtime for most of the Shinobi in the Tazuna household, save for himself and a chain-smoking Naruto.

After marking his page with a dog-ear, he stowed his book in his Kunai pouch. "Subtlety. Disguises, fake papers..." He sighed and sat down on the edge of the roof. "Worst case, infiltrate Oto's forces in the area and piggyback on a patrol."

Naruto took another deep drag on his cigarette. "See, I'd thought that too...but I had something of an epiphany." He exhaled deeply. "Getting into the country, no matter _how_ we do it, is going to be the easy part. The problem comes up when we try to _go_ anywhere inside the country proper."

Nodding, Kakashi surveyed the area...an old habit of his. "Granted. But so long as _they_ don't know we're there, there shouldn't be a problem moving around disguised as...whatever we choose as a disguise."

"That's the thing though. This isn't an operation to gather information or infiltrate, we're literally going to be destroying an entire army within the infrastructure of a fallen country." Naruto flicked his spent butt down off the edge of the building. "I mean, you can think of this like an insurgency or a guerrilla movement, but those rely on a network of people who are already dug in and indistinguishable from the native populous. _Here_, the native populous is oppressed and cowed, and the only organization able to combat Oto's advances, namely Ame, is cloistered and on its heels."

He stood and started pacing. After a moment, he sighed. "I'm thinking this isn't really going to be anything like an insurgency. There's no subtlety to this, no assassinations in the night, cloak and dagger, seduce and kill shit with this."

"This feels a lot more like..."

His eyes lit up, and Kakashi raised an eyebrow.

"This feels like we're going in as commandos, you know?"

Kakashi smiled slightly behind his mask. There was the Naruto he _knew_.

"Maybe." He feigned a shrug, preferring to let his once-pupil figure it out. "We won't really know until we get there, though."

Naruto shook his head, obviously oblivious to his teacher's circumspect attitude. "See, I don't like that kind of thinking. We're not going in to assess the situation and act accordingly, you know?" He took out another cigarette, scratching his chest and finally finding his lighter in one of his pockets. "If we let them, _they_ will dictate the situation. We can't allow that. We have to be the ones to make it clear that _we_ are dictating what is going to happen, when it's going to happen, where it's going to happen..."

He took a deep drag off his new cigarette, and released a deep sigh, finally seeming to calm down slightly.

After a moment, he yawned.

"So yeah. I'm thinking we go in big."

Kakashi allowed a chuckle.

"You're the leader here, Naruto. Not me. If that is what you think is best..." He trailed off, watching Naruto's eyes gain _something_ at his recognition of _him_ being the leader.

Naruto laughed and shook his head.

"Me. Leading _you_. What a fuckin' trip man." He scratched his chest, sitting down next to his once-teacher on the edge of the roof. "Who'da thunk it, right?"

Kakashi shrugged again, clearly amused. "I always knew you had it in you. It just remained to see what would bring it out."

Naruto took another long drag, staring upwards at the stars. His face wore a grin.

"Thanks, Kakashi. Not sure if I ever got the chance to tell you that."

"With as much of a handful as you were, I expected more than a 'thank you'.

Naruto looked at him, feigning offense. "Me? A handful?" He turned away, smirking. "Perish the thought."

Kakashi chuckled.

After a few minutes, Naruto got up, dusting off his posterior. He yawned, for once, not feigning. "Bedtime." His face set itself into something a bit more serious. "Tomorrow...we leave."

Nodding, Kakashi stood. "The rest of the forces from Konoha might not be here by the time we leave. There have been...incidents within the village as of late." His brow furrowed. "Good chance we'll be on our own."

"So be it." Naruto jumped down from the roof, followed by Kakashi. "We have enough of a force here to do what we need to do."

Kakashi nodded, opening the door. "Agreed."

Naruto stopped before entering the house, putting out his cigarette.

He sighed, looking up at the stars one last time.

Briefly, a meteor burned itself out in the atmosphere of the earth.

He closed his eyes, and when he opened them, he smiled.

* * *

There was joy in logic.

It had taken a certain amount of time for him to understand 'joy' however, meaning that logic had come first. He suspected that if it had been the other way round, he might have viewed logic as something more akin to drudgery or single-mindedness than 'joy'.

Naruto was an impetus. He was a spark. That's not to say that he wasn't also the resulting flame and the fuel thereof, but others around him almost invariably carried their fuel _without_ that spark, for safety's sake. Most people viewed burning as a wasteful and temporary act, and as such spurned the spark...but then they would come across said spark, and their world would ignite in brilliant, glorious flames, and they would realize what they were missing.

The difference, as he saw it, was that over the past years that Naruto had been separated from Konoha, he had gathered more fuel. He had gathered a slow burning, but yet just as flammable fuel that could simmer, wax, wane and even go out…

But the spark was still there. And at all times, his flame remained lit, a beacon to those around him, and a dire warning to his enemies.

He hesitated for a moment, re-arranging something in his backpack. The others around him were doing much the same, packing their supplies and weapons into various pockets or pouches. Sakura, having no pockets, chose to wear a backpack, two kunai pouches and a butt pouch.

A pity, to cover such a posterior.

Naruto had gained some of the logic that Sai had cultivated over the years at root. He had cultivated it from different sources mind you, perhaps from tragedy or a simple understanding of the absolutes of the world they lived in…but it was logic nevertheless.

It had not tamed him. Nothing could _tame_ him.

It had simply _tempered_ him. Like the finest carbonized steel, folded in on itself hundreds of times to make a strong, sturdy implement of death…only once said steel had been quenched oh so many times, could the sword be said to be _finished_.

Naruto was not finished, either.

But he was tempered.

Sai slung his backpack over his shoulders and adjusted the straps slightly. Naruto was conversing with his female companions in a rather lively manner, flirting jovially and feigning disinterest when necessary. Even Hinata, not quite as shy as she had been, seemed to be enjoying the conversation, interjecting at intervals and supremely irking the red haired one.

The red haired one kept staring at the Hyuuga's breasts.

Intriguing.

Kakashi and Ibiki were mulling over something…most likely stratagems or the like. Anko was walking off a hangover. Unfortunate.

As he surveyed the gathering, he gained a bit of perspective.

This was no ordinary mission. This was nothing like any of them, save perhaps Kakashi, had ever undertaken.

This was _war_ by another name. No declaration, no _intention_, it was simply an intervention.

Sending ten Nin to do the work of hundreds.

Surprisingly enough, he wasn't all that worried.

Naruto being who he was, of course.

* * *

The goodbyes to Tazuna, Inari and his mother had not been difficult, per se, but rather uneventful enough to realize that everyone was tense.

They had waited, past the allotted time, for the second wave of reinforcements from Konoha. They had not come.

It was not worrying, but it was…troubling.

Regardless, they had a mission to accomplish.

Accomplish it, they would.

"Anyone else notice that we've been going downhill for the past few hours?"

Naruto perked up slightly at the sound of Sakura's voice. "Indeed. The country lies at the bottom of a valley, surrounded by a mountainous region." He surveyed the area in front of him, scanning the trees as they all sped through them.

"The geography of the area is one of the prime reasons why the country a nexus for inter-country battles." Ibiki chewed thoughtfully on a senbon. "It's often referred to as the 'cauldron'. Easy to get into, but hard to get out."

"So basically," Anko took a swig from a bottle of…something. It smelled awful, but supposedly cured hangovers. "Once you get in, there's no high ground the further you go. The mountains are _it_."

Rena, Usagi mounted on her shoulders, shook her head. "There is high ground. The place where the deposed government of Ame is currently located is a high ground, a sloping steppe that descends into a marshland. That will be our first destination." She quickly glanced at Naruto. "Assuming the Ryuujin concurs."

Naruto yawned. "Maybe. Our first concern is getting in. Past that," he scratched his chest. "…past that, I'm not quite sure yet."

"Naruto-kun…two o'clock, one kilometer out." Hinata's breath hitched. "It's…gigantic." She quickly regained her composure. "There's a clearing obscured by trees about two hundred meters in front of the…gate."

"Gate?" Naruto's brow furrowed. "What kind of Gate, Hinata?"

She shook her head after a moment. "Nothing I've ever seen before."

His brow furrowed further.

Coming up on the clearing, they all stopped quietly, rushing up to the small copse of trees that obscured them from the vision of any potential enemies.

He heard more than a few sharp inhales.

There, dug into the side of the mountain, were easily the most gigantic gates he had ever seen…their height was almost parallel to the peak of the mountain next to it, and their width spanned what was easily a full kilometer.

Whatever pass there had been into the country, Oto had sealed off.

Kakashi, next to him, sighed. "Rashoumon. One of Orochimaru's summons. This looks to be one of the larger ones, at that."

Naruto nodded. "Hinata, how many are we dealing with, and what's behind the gate?"

The girl focused for a moment, veins bulging around her violet-white eyes. "At least a hundred, though they look to be common foot soldiers, maybe chuunin." She focused further. "…I…can't see behind the gate."

Eyes narrowing, Naruto glanced at Kakashi. "Think you can distract them for about a minute?"

Kakashi nodded. "We can. I take it you have a plan?"

Naruto stood, cracking his neck a few times. "Not so much a plan, as a Jutsu. I'm going to blow that gate back to hell." He closed his eyes, sitting down further on in the clearing, crossing his legs. "Just keep them distracted for about a minute. When you hear _it_, start running."

Kankurou, standing at the back of the troupe, cocked an eyebrow. "_It_?"

Tayuya's mouth twisted into a shit eating grin of epic proportions. "Yeah. _It_. You'll know _it_ when you hear _it_."

Ibiki put his senbon back into his pouch. "Not that I disagree with your assessment, Naruto…but we _could_ simply go around." He looked upwards towards the peaks of the mountains on either side of the gate complex. "…or above."

"Naturally." Naruto cracked an eye open and glanced sideways at Ibiki. "…just trust me."

Scratching his forehead, Ibiki frowned…and then sighed. "Very well."

Naruto nodded at Kakashi.

Looking at each other unsurely, the group formed on Kakashi, who drew a Kunai. "Nothing fancy. Get in, cause havoc, and then run like hell when Naruto does whatever it is he's doing."

A chorus of acknowledgements.

They all leaped forward.

* * *

"Listen, alright? I'm telling you, this gate?" He knocked on the hard material that made up the gate they were guarding. "I've seen S-Ranked techniques hit this shit before. Didn't even _touch_ it."

His companion, leaning up against the gate itself, hummed thoughtfully. "…but what's the point of a gate that won't open?"

A few moments of silence.

"Dude, just…" the first Oto Nin sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "…just shut up. Why are you always like this?"

"It's a legitimate question. Why did we even put this thing up? I mean, we could have just blasted the damn mountain and created a rubble field, right?" He banged on the gate. "This is overkill."

A female voice. "No, _this_ is overkill."

A fist shrouded by a white glove hit the first shinobi's head square in the forehead.

The back of his head exploded outwards, showering the second shinobi's head in grey matter.

A kunai hit the second nin's neck, dropping him shortly afterwards.

Tayuya snorted derisively, looking at Sakura's handiwork. "Oh look, I'm Sakura, I can make people's heads explode and shit." She drew another Kunai. "Showoff."

Sakura blew a strand of hair out of her face. "Jealous."

"Fuck you." Tayuya turned towards the gate, satisfied as she saw the rest of the group making their own entrances. "Hate Kunoichi like you…going into battle wearing…" she gestured at the revealing chinese dress Sakura was wearing. "…_that_. Just _screams_ 'slut'."

The first of several shinobi arrived at their position. Sakura flipped over the first, kicking the second in the neck, then inserting a senbon into the spine of the first. "Hey." She tore the senbon out sideways, earning a scream before he dropped to the ground. "You know what?" She cupped her breasts with blood-soaked gloves. "These used to be _B-Cups_ not a year ago. Ok? I don't want to hear it."

Tayuya punched one of the shinobi that had diverted to deal with her, crushing his temple. "Wait, seriously?" She drew another Kunai, parrying a strike and then slashing at a nin's throat. "That's fuckin' impossible. Boobs don't just _grow_ like that."

Sakura used her chakra-enhanced strength to blow a nin's intestines out the back of his trousers. "Hey, you know I'm a medic nin, right?" She shook her hand, getting a few entrails off. "Apprentice of Tsunade? You've at least seen pictures of her, right?"

"Of course." Tayuya watched as the few nin that had been charging at them stopped, perhaps rethinking their strategy. "Wait, you mean there's a _Jutsu_ to increase your cup size?"

"Sorta." Sakura started forming hand seals. "More like…you increase your protein and fat intake for a few weeks, and use a technique to make sure it all ends up where you want." She finished her seals.

Tayuya jumped backwards, feeling a surge of chakra build up, just as a water dragon materialized from a nearby puddle. Roughly a dozen shinobi were crushed against the gate. "Man…that's cheating!" She cupped her breasts. "I've been drinking milk like, nonstop for _months_ now, and it hasn't done a damn bit of good…you saying I can actually direct that shit?"

Sakura sighed, leaning up against the gate as the rest of the shinobi began a tactical retreat. "Yeah. Tits, ass…anywhere you want, really. Takes a lot of focus and control though. Not easy."

"Fuck." Tayuya all but pouted. "…still hate you."

Looking the red haired nin up and down for a minute, she crossed her arms. "So, you can't use chakra?"

Tayuya looked at her with something like surprise…but not quite. "…yeah. Got my coils crushed all to shit a bit back." She rubbed at a seal on her arm that held a great deal of Naruto's chakra. "Only thanks to Naruto that I can even use chakra at all if I get into a bitch of a situation."

Sakura rubbed the back of her head. "I mean…I can fix that if you want…later." She glanced over near the middle of the gate where Hinata was murdering bitches left and right. "It'll hurt a lot, though."

Impassively, Tayuya hummed. "…what would it take for you to teach me that…" She gestured at Sakura's boobs. "…_thing_ afterwards?"

"Information." Sakura grinned. "Nothing more."

"Fuck." Tayuya huffed, scratching her chin. "…yeah. I'll think about it."

Sakura nodded. "Fair enough. When we get bac-"

A rumbling. A high pitched whine. A deep, emanating and low thrum. A glow.

Sakura had a chill run down her spine. "That…is _that_?"

Tayuya grinned, laughing, before taking to the trees.

* * *

There were many, _many_ seals on his body. Some contained stored power, others contained items, still others contained _nothing_, but rather organized and directed what was already there.

Normally, his coils would contain his chakra, and anything excess was simply shed off or directed into a seal to be stored. This was, however, when he was consciously making sure _not_ to produce excess chakra. It was, in fact, a conscious process within his psyche, a _decision_ to create or release chakra, rather than a natural process. It _had_ to be that way, because otherwise, he would simply be a walking avatar of raw, unadulterated chakra.

And then sometimes, he _was_.

He directed chakra into five seals, each over the first five gates of the chakra circulatory system. Each of these seals, in turn, fed one another, creating a compressed chakra turbine within his own body. The speed of his chakra in this turbine increased its power, and in turn, his coils kept feeding the turbine, as the turbine kept expending power. Kinda like an internal stage two Rasengan.

Past this, however, he had no idea how it _worked_ per se, but he only knew that he was really, really, _really_ powerful once he'd gotten this chakra turbine up to speed.

His eyes glowed blue, wind whipping around his frame at a frantic pace, lightning discharging every so often within this vortex, a product of friction more than the nature of his chakra. The ground where he walked cracked and groaned, and the air around him picked up anything loose and cut it into minute pieces, until no part of it could be seen.

He stood before the gate. The shinobi that had once been defending the gate, now retreated with vigor, some instead choosing to gape in awe.

He pulled his fist back.

He punched the gate, allowing the turbine flowing within him to release itself through his fist.

For a few milliseconds, space seemingly collapsed upon itself in cascades of blue energy, forming a bright, blue, glowing epicenter of ruination that pulsed once, and only once.

The shockwave would be felt for miles.

* * *

He watched a lot of movies.

Or rather, he had in his youth. It wasn't something he had the time or inclination to pursue currently, what with the war and all, but it was certainly something he was interested in.

In the movies, almost invariably, there was a good side, and a bad side. The good side almost always won, but lost something along the way, either principals or a bond between friends…something that the bad guys usually took from them.

The bad guys, however, had nothing _to_ lose. Their goals were often nebulous, though straightforward in their premise. World domination, wealth, power…any number of carnal delights that men would do many things for.

And so, when the bad guys lost, and the good guys were walking away into the sunset, you couldn't really feel sorry for the bad guys…after all, they reached for something they could not obtain with means that were unscrupulous at best.

But while you felt justified in your schadenfreudian convictions regarding the evil doers, it was always about their methods, their means of getting what they wanted, rather than the actual things they wanted.

Society will always forgive a man for reaching past his means, so long as he plays by 'the rules'.

And this, he knew, is why 'evil' lost.

Not because they did not play by the rules. Not because their reach exceeded their grasp. No. It was a far simpler reason.

They lacked the necessary conviction to create their own set of rules.

He took a sip of his wine, a cabernet, well aged. It had come from the private stock of one of their more important backers, on his request…and he certainly was rather pleased with it. Not to say it was the best he'd ever had, but it was definitely appropriate for his current setting.

He brushed aside a strand of his dark hazelnut hair and rubbed his whiskers in the reflection of the glass, deep, expressive green eyes and a sharp, unforgiving face staring back at him.

He could have sworn he saw a grey hair.

"Sir. The…" One of his many adjutants glanced outside the command tent, the musical note on his forehead protector glinting slightly. "…_package_ has arrived."

He swirled the wine in his glass, humming thoughtfully. "…and the errant commander?"

"Taken care of, sir."

He smiled. "Excellent. Send her in."

The adjutant nodded stiffly, before exiting the tent. He leaned back in his chair slightly, savoring the taste of his wine once more.

To be 'evil', one need not be cruel…one must be calculating.

The girl entered the tent, clothed in barely tattered rags, signs of abuse obvious…but a fire behind her eyes nonetheless.

To be 'evil', one need not be uncompromising…one must be stalwart in their convictions and purpose.

He set down his glass of wine.

To be 'evil', one need not be bloodthirsty…one must be willing to do what must be done.

The girl smiled ever so slightly. He smirked right back.

Because in the end, evil only existed so long as the battle raged.

"Hello, little one. Welcome to the front."

Because after the battle was won, after the weapons were laid down and peace settled in once more…

The girl laughed slightly. "Not for long."

Evil simply became the establishment. And all the means in the world, unscrupulous or otherwise, vanished when pen was put to paper.

Rules, after all, were written by the victors.


End file.
